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THE DINOSAURS HAVE RETURNED

By

John Vance Barach

CONTENTS


CHAPTER ONE

They came from distant stars with one intent:
To find the ones they left behind and learn
The way to bring them back to life again.
Though dead so long ago, they could return.

You would think that I would be the last person in the world to be the ambassador of an interplanetary contact. Really. I was only 28. Ambassadors are supposed to be old guys. But I was the first contact.

Maybe I should begin when it all started.

I am a randonneur. I ride my bicycle long distances within a specified length of time. Randonneuring began in France in 1891 and people have been doing it ever since. Each ride of 200, 300, 400, or 600 kilometres is called a brevet. Completing all these rides is a "super series," which is the qualifier for a designated ride of 1200 km which must be completed within 90 hours, including all stops for food or sleep, etc. The ultimate 1200 km ride is held every four years in France going from Paris to Brest then back to Paris. It is called the PBP and I had been intending to ride that one. These are not races. Everyone who completes a ride within the time limit, receives the same reward regardless of how long a particular rider takes.

During the week, I work at a health care shop as a wheelchair and scooter technician. I build wheelchairs from component parts to ideally fit our clients. I used to work in a motorcycle shop as a partsman and one summer I was a partsman for a BMW automobile shop. When it comes to things with wheels, I am in my element. I am certain that my acquaintance with wheels led to becoming an interplanetary ambassador.

The space ship landed on that Saturday in May, as you and the whole world knows by now, and I was riding a 200 kilometre brevet. That's the first sanctioned ride of the series. I was about 25 kilometres from home east of the village of Benalto in central Alberta when the wind started acting strange. At one moment I was getting a tail wind and I clicked into my top gear, then came a headwind blast that almost stopped me dead. With difficulty I shifted down. Then another tailwind blast followed by a headwind. It was a stop and go kind of thing. I could not get into the right gear to take advantage of the wind.

The shoulders of the two-lane highway around Benalto are almost two metres wide, so there is lots of room to ride or stop if I have to. I braked to a stop and got off the bike thinking that the problem might be with the bike, not the wind. Wind doesn't normally react that way. I was still straddling the bike, but I couldn't see anything obvious. I took off my gloves, velcro'ed them together and hung them over the handlebar. I pulled out a tissue from my pocket and blew my nose. It always drips on cool rides. The temperature was only ten above Celsius. I was wearing tights over bike shorts, jersey, vest, and a shell jacket. I always wear a helmet on my rides.

Wind fools me because I can't always tell the direction. I thought maybe a side wind might account for the strange wind condition I was experiencing. I pulled off a corner of the tissue and held it up to let the wind take it. I don't like to litter, but a thumbnail size of tissue won't hurt anything. The wind picked it up and tossed it away about a metre and then back to me, then away again. It didn't fall to the ground, it kept going back and forth. I could easily have caught it on its return "trip." I just couldn't figure it out. Even if it were a tornado, it would go in circles, I guess, but not back and forth.

While I was watching the tissue, I pulled my water bottle out of its cage and took a swig and returned it to the cage. I swung my right leg over the saddle so I could reach my trunk bag. I unzipped it and pulled out my zip-lock bag of fig newtons. I am allowed 13 hours to ride the 200 kilometres and had been making good time, so I had plenty of time to wait out this wind problem and eat something. And that's when it happened.

It was the sound that got my attention. There are cars and trucks that pass you when you ride a bike and you can hear them coming and going. Some of the sound is from their engines and some from the kind of tires they have. Once in a while there are loud motorcycles. They all have a distinctive sound. But what I heard that day was a cross between a helicopter and a screaming woman. "Eeee-yowp-yowp-eeee-yowp-yowp."

There wasn't a single car or truck up and down the highway. And I can see a couple kilometres in each direction. I looked up, but there was no helicopter. Logic dictated that traffic comes down the highway or possibly from the air. Then I looked at the open field to my right, but there was no farm vehicles on it. As I looked toward the field, the air turned shimmery kind of what it looks like on the pavement on a hot August day. Through the shimmer, a silver shape began to materialize. At first it was no bigger than a car, but it seemed to keep growing or maybe more of it kept appearing.

Everybody has read some science fiction or has seen movies about star ships. All of them describe a sleek rocket ship of some kind. But this was a large silver box that was about fifty metres wide and maybe fifteen metres high. I couldn't see how deep it was because I was about half way along its width. I later learned it was about fifty metres deep. If you were in my shoes, what would you think? No pre-fab building could be constructed that big that fast. And don't think that the building was there all along and that I just didn't notice it before. So forget about some rational explanation. Maybe it came from an alternate dimension. But it sure didn't look like a space ship to me.

To me at the time, it was like a solid flat wall of silver metal with no apparent doors or windows. The surface was without wrinkles or creases. Car makers always put creases in sheet metal to give it structural strength, but not this wall. Also there was no writing on it that I could see. At the time it appeared to be just a huge wall. My initial thought was that it just popped into existence.

I don't believe in alternate dimensions. There has to be a rational explanation for things. There is always cause and effect. Upon reflection I thought someone had rigged a huge sign that had been pushed up from the ground. I figured that the noise I had heard was the machinery that put it in place. If you had asked me, I would not have guessed space ship.

I think I was about half way through my second fig newton when this thing showed up and I was not chewing what I had in my mouth. I am not a mouth-breather, except when I am riding the bike, but there I stood by my bike with my mouth wide open for a full minute. This wall appeared out of nowhere and I wondered if it were stationary or whether it would begin moving toward me or if it would fall on me. I should have jumped on the saddle and pedaled away as fast as I could. But I was transfixed.

In all this time, not a single vehicle was on the highway. Now that is somewhat unusual because the traffic is fairly steady between Red Deer and Rocky Mountain House. What I learned later was that all the cars were blocked from the area about five kilometres around the silver building. Any vehicle within that area was allowed to exit but none were allowed in. Had I been in a car, I would have driven out and not known what was happening. But I was on a bike riding about 20 km/h and then I stopped as I said. So I was the only one on the highway when this wall appeared.

After a couple minutes, I thought of getting under way since the wind had died down, but I was curious. Why would anyone make such a huge sign? I zipped up my trunk bag, took another swallow of water, swung my leg over the saddle, clicked my right foot into the pedal. With a quick glance at the wall I made one stroke of the pedal when I heard what sounded like a siren.

At first I thought a police car or ambulance was behind me, so I stopped. Fortunately I hadn't clicked into the left pedal because at that slow speed I would have fallen over. It's happened to me before to my embarrassment.

The noise wasn't directly behind me. It was coming from the wall. I looked and there was that shimmer again. When it cleared, a black doorway appeared in the middle of the wall. A ramp stretched from the doorway to the ground. Walking through the door and down the ramp was a creature I had never seen before.

It stood upright like a man and wore a bright green one-piece coverall with black boots. The head was like that of a crocodile or alligator. I always get those two reptiles mixed up. I am told that the fourth tooth of a crocodile protrudes, but the alligator's teeth are hidden. I could see that tooth so it was more like a crocodile. The snout was shorter than a crocodile's about twice the size of a human head. On its head was a tall helmet about the same shade of green as his overalls. Its large black eyes were closer together than pictures of crocodiles I've seen. But the eyes had a bulging appearance. The mouth stretched from one helmet strap to the other and with that protruding tooth on each side the sight of the creature gave me a shiver.

The back of its hand and bare arms were scaled. In its right hand was a rifle unlike any I had ever seen. I'm not as familiar with guns as my American friends, but what else could it be? He held it in the ready position. There was nothing in the left hand. His legs were heavy and bowed. Behind him was a stubby tapered tail about half a metre long. His colour was a blend of brown and olive.

When he looked around, he spotted me and immediately pointed the rifle at me. Right then I put my hands up in the surrender position.

"Don't shoot. I'm unarmed," I said, still straddling the bike against me.

He spoke and it sounded like growls, grunts, and hisses. I didn't recognize a single word. I took French in school as most Canadians did and I have heard a few other languages on TV, but no one spoke as that creature did.

"I'm just riding my bike. I'm no threat." I placed my left hand on the handlebar.

That's when I got the idea that I should start with the "Me Tarzan, you Jane" routine.

"I am Bobby Marchuk," I said pointing to my chest. "Who are you," pointing at him.

He lowered his rifle a little and called back up the doorway with some grunts and whistles. Two other creatures appeared dressed like the first one except they both wore blue coveralls and matching blue helmets.

I was still straddling the bike, so with my eye on the guy with the gun and my right arm upraised, I unclicked the right pedal and began to swing my right leg over the saddle. Up came his rifle and more unintelligible words. I pointed to my leg and said, "I'm just getting off the bike." Slowly I finished swinging my leg over the saddle and stood on the left of the bike. I heard that if a bear should begin to attack a cyclist, it is best to dismount and put the bike between you and the bear. I don't know if that would actually provide much protection against a hungry bear. It certainly wasn't going to provide any protection against this guy with the rifle.

Pointing to myself, I said again, "Bobby Marchuk," hoping that it didn't mean, "Here, shoot me in the chest."

"Gordag Neffel," he said pointing to himself. Then again, "Gordag Neffel."

At the time I didn't know if it was one word or four, but it was certainly four syllables each time. There were some huffs and grunts with the name that might have been emphases or something.

That's when the other two walked across the field toward me. One of them grabbed me and the other picked up the bike. He lifted the bike above his head and the water bottle leaked on him. Up to this point they had been silent, but the dripping water surprised him and he said a string of grunt words I took to be expletives. I had to smile as I realized these guys reacted no differently from human beings.

CHAPTER TWO

The awesome Neffel came from distant stars
And parked their massive craft upon a field.
The gadmed force surrounded all around
Which guarded Gordag Neffel like a shield.

The two blue uniformed aliens took me through the doorway and into their structure. The doorway led to a large room with a series of cushioned green couches. However the backs of each seating section had a big hole which I assumed accommodated their tail.

As soon as we got in, I noticed the temperature was much warmer than outside. I guessed it must be at least 30 degrees. I was dressed for 10, so I removed my helmet and began unzipping my jacket. My three captors were doing likewise. Their helmets had covered a ridge of red bone that looked like a rooster's comb. They unfastened part of their coveralls, but didn't remove them. I am just about six foot tall (I should say 180 cm, but I can't get used to metric when it comes to height). Without their comb, they were about my height. Their snout, if I can call it that, was not as long as a crocodile, but with that protruding tooth, they looked as mean.

If three crocodiles invited you to their den for supper, would you be the main course? That is a little how I felt. I reasoned that if they wanted to eat me, they would have left my bike behind.

One of them pushed me to the chair and I almost fell through the hole. It was with some effort for me to lean up against the main part of the cushion. The others sat on couches around me. The door of the hallway through which we entered closed up so I could not see even the edge of where the door had been.

Gordag Neffel pointed to one of the others and said, "Doffag Neffel." And then to the other one, "Boodub Neffel." I'm not sure if that was the correct spelling of their names, but that's what they sounded like.

I was uncertain about how to proceed. If I were going to communicate with them, either I would have to learn their language or they would have to learn mine. Gordag pointed to the couch and said, "Gorb?" Then to the wall, "Gorb?" Then to my bike, "Gorb Bobbee Marchug?" It dawned on me. "Gorb" meant "What is it called?" He was going to learn my language.

It was almost comical. We were pointing at everything and I was giving the English name of it. However, Gordag and the other two could not always pronounce it properly. The "p" sound came out as a "b." The "k" was "g" and the "t" was "d." I later learned from a linguist that they voiced those sounds and couldn't say the unvoiced ones. It took a little discernment to understand Gordag.

I realized that communication is tough when you just have nouns. I needed action words, so I walked and ran a little way. I moved in every way possible giving the English word for the actions.

I kept thinking of Sesame Street as I tried to explain near and far, big and small, right and left, happy and sad. They didn't get that last one since they didn't show facial expressions and they could not discern any difference between my smile and my frown. To them "happy" meant smart, reasonable, or good while "sad" meant foolish.

Then we moved to numbers which they seemed to understand but had a little difficulty at times. When I looked at their hands, I understood why. They have four fingers on each hand. They use an octal system instead of a decimal system. I used my fingers and counted to ten. I flashed all ten fingers twice to indicate twenty. Then three times for thirty.

Gordag grabbed my right hand and said, "Nexd." I was surprised he knew the word, "next." I must have used it when pointing to objects.

"Forty, fifty, sixty, seventy, eighty, ninety, hundred," I finished without needing to flash my fingers.

Then I tried simple arithmetic. On my left hand I held up two fingers and three on my right hand. "Two and three equals five. Two and three not equal six." I didn't have any paper at hand, so I couldn't write down the figures, but he caught on immediately. From then on, the word "equal" was his expression for the verb "to be."

When I explained distance, I used metric measurements since they are multiples of ten. I wasn't sure if they would appreciate the awkwardness of the Imperial or U.S. system. I held my arms out and said, "Metre. Hundred metres is kilometre." Then I held my finger and thumb apart and said, "Centimetre, hundred centimetre is metre." It seemed to make perfect sense to them.

I removed my watch and tried to explain time, Gordag said, "Equal hundred segonds one minute; equal hundred minutes one hour."

"No, sixty seconds make one minute; sixty minutes make one hour," I said.

"Equal your dime sad," said Gordag which I took to mean our system of time was foolish because it was not in multiples of ten.

"Run Bobbee Marchug bige," Gordag said pointing first to me and then the bike. So I got on the bike and rode it a few metres. The room was large, but was not large enough for me to click into the pedals. "I ride bike," I said, emphasizing the word "ride" to contrast it with "run." As they saw the rotation of the pedals and its connection by the chain to the rear wheel, I had to explain all the parts of the bike since it especially intrigued them.

Once we had exhausted everything I could think of, Gordag said something to Doffag who touched the wall opposite us. It turned out to be a large video screen. On it was a collage of pictures of buildings, people, vehicles, and vegetation. I gave names to each one. They surprised me in that they remembered every word. But grammar confused them. They put the verb first.

Pointing to a picture of a car, Gordag asked, "Run whad mage gar? See I no bedals. No bush beoble gar."

So I answered, "Engine makes the car run. Pedals are only for bike. People push things with no pedals and no engine."

"Whad equal engine?"

I was out of my depth here. How do I explain an internal combustion engine? I asked for paper and pen, but they didn't know what I meant. So I rummaged in my bike bag and pulled out my brevet card and pencil. On the back, I tried to draw an engine.

"Gas goes in here. Spark plug burns gas and pushes piston down. Pistons go up and down. Crankshaft turns like pedals on bike. Makes wheels go around."

"Whad equal gas?"

"Gasoline. We take oil out of the ground and make gas for engine." As soon as I got that statement out, Gordag threw up his arms and yelled at the other two. Another door opened soundlessly in the wall to my right. Then Gordag picked up his rifle and all three stomped out of the room and left me alone. They were obviously upset. I was sure they were thinking, "What an idiot we have captured. He can't even explain the distillation process or the proper operation of an engine."

CHAPTER THREE

The couch-like norzla flew without control
To view the blatant rape of ancient lives.
For Gordag had a puzzle he must solve
With all the help of his two winsome wives.

When Gordag returned, he picked up his helmet. He no longer had his rifle.

"Wear Bobbee Marchug helmud," he commanded. So I put on my helmet and adjusted the strap while Gordag did likewise.

"Why do we need our helmets? Is there a danger of falling?"

"Equal helmud warm." I zipped up my jacket shell. Gordag was not accustomed to the cool temperatures outside and needed a head covering to keep warm. As far as I was concerned, 10 above Celsius was quite tolerable. However, I wasn't going to argue with Gordag.

"Go we oudside. Find gar."

"Should I take my bike?" I asked.

"No ride you bige. Wear you gadmed on arm. Fly we" He attached a bracelet on my right wrist and touched something on its side. I thought it might be something like handcuffs since I still felt I was a prisoner, but I was wrong. As far as I could detect, the gadmed did nothing. I still had movement. I puzzled over the word "gadmed" trying to think of what English word it was supposed to be and concluded it was a Neffel word.

Without a command or motion on Gordag's part, the doorway opened to the outside. It puzzled me how doors opened and closed without apparent movement or voice. There wasn't even a "clap-on, clap-off" signal that I could hear. I wondered if old Pharaoh could have opened a doorknob in my house, either.

When we got outside, there was what appeared to be a powder blue, armless couch or loveseat like the one I had seen inside. It was wide enough for two people and had the appropriate hole for Gordag's tail on one side, but the other side did not. Obviously that side was for me, so I sat down to the left of Gordag's seat. I thought, "if this is an airplane, it has to have invisible wings." Gordag sat beside me.

"What is this thing? It has no wheels or wings?"

"Fly we on norzla."

And the norzla-couch went straight up about a hundred metres without any apparent control from us. There was no seatbelt and no arm on the norzla or anything to hang onto.

"Gordag, I am going to fall!"

"No fall. Wear you gadmed. Sdop fall," he said pointing to the bracelet.

I reached forward and felt an invisible wall. Likewise another to the side. Although the gadmed kept me in place, I could not get over the sensation of the possibility of falling. As we traveled, there was no wind in our faces and no sound of wind. As well, there was no sound of a motor. We could talk and hear each other easily. Gordag sat with his hands on his lap. There didn't seem to be any steering wheel, pedals, or other controls. Nor did it seem to be voice controlled.

"Own you gar?" he asked.

"Yes, I have a Ford Taurus wagon at home."

"Go we your gar. Loog I inside ad engine. Loog I ad gasoline."

We were not too far from home. I directed him east along Highway 11 to Red Deer and then north a couple of streets to my home. We were well up in the air so I knew we wouldn't encounter any automobiles. Air traffic in that area is scarce. We landed in my front yard only a short distance away from the Taurus.

"That's my car, but if you want to look at it, I need to get my keys from the house."

I hesitated about leaving the norzla since I thought the gadmed was still holding me in place. I reached for the "wall" to my left and it was no longer there. I got up and walked to my front door which was locked. I had left my keys in the bike bag. I rang the doorbell hoping my wife was at home. She sells Avon, so could be out calling on her customers. While I was waiting for the door to open, Gordag was walking around the car being careful not to touch it. There are other parked cars nearby, but I live on a quiet street with little traffic.

The door opened and my wife pointed at the norzla and said, "What's that old couch doing on our lawn? Where did it come from?"

"I'll tell you later, but I need to get my car keys."

"Well, you are not going to clomp across the floor with those bike shoes. The cleats will mark up the floor. Where are your keys?"

"I left them with the bike."

"Where's your bike? Did you have an accident?"

"No accident. I met this guy and he wants to look at the car." I didn't want to explain everything to her just then.

"I'll get the keys," she said. "Who is that looking at your car? Is he going to buy that clunker? Most of all, why did you meet me at the door without so much as a kiss?"

I couldn't get a word in edgewise. "I'm sorry, honey," I apologized, giving her a quick kiss. "Gordag wants to look at the car."

"Is Gordon going to buy your car?" she asked.

"Ah, no. But it is Gordag, not Gordon. He's from outer space, I think. I do need the keys, dear."

"You and your star trek friends," she said turning back into the house.

In a moment she returned with the keys dangling in front of her. I reached for them, but she pulled them away.

"First, introduce me to your friend," she said walking past me.

"Gordag," I called. "This is my wife, Liz."

"See I your wife habby," said Gordag.

"What did he say, dear?" asked my wife.

"He said he was happy to see you," I explained. Actually he meant a wife is a logical or reasonable person.

"Well, I am happy to see you too, Gordon," she said, "but you can take your crocodile mask off."

"Honey, that is not a mask. It is his real face. He really is from outer space or somewhere. And his name is Gordag, not Gordon." That was the second time I corrected her on the name. But from that time on, she always called him Gordon.

"Show you second wife," said Gordag.

"Sorry Gordag, I have only one wife. How many do you have?"

"Saw you my wifes," said Gordag and I realized that the other two in blue coveralls must be his wives.

"Honey," I said, turning to my wife, "Gordag has two wives."

"That's just what we need," Liz joked, "a second wife to do the cleaning." At least I think she was joking.

"Loog I ad gar," Gordag demanded.

"Honey, Gordag needs to look at the car, so may I have the keys, please?"

She handed the keys to me and turned to go into the house. Calling over her shoulder, she said, "Don't leave that old couch on the lawn. Take it to the dump when you're done."

I unlocked the driver's door and reached down for the hood release giving it a pull. Then I walked around to the front. The secondary release is always sticky and took me a moment to move it to one side allowing the hood to be lifted. Gordag practically pushed me out of the way trying to look into the engine bay. His helmet banged against the edge of the hood eliciting a few grunt words.

"Where equal gasoline?" Gordag asked.

"It is in a tank at the back of the car and goes in here," I said pointing to the engine. "Do you want me to start the engine?"

"Stard you gar."

"Stand back or the fan will hit you." Gordag stepped back but still had his eyes on the engine. I got back in the car and started it up.

"No run gar."

"The car is just idling. The engine runs but the car won't go until I close the hood and sit in the seat." Gordag walked around to the back of the car and noticed the exhaust.

He called to me, "Bobbee Marchug, burn your gar."

"The car is not burning. When the gasoline goes into the engine, it is burned and the smoke comes out of the exhaust," I explained.

"See I gasoline now."

"I can't show you the gas in the tank, it is sealed. But I have some gas in the garage if you want to see it." I slammed the hood down and reached back into the car, turned off the ignition, and removed the key.

"Come on, I'll show you some gas."

We walked over to the garage. The garage door opener is on the key ring so with a press of a button the door opened. The contrast between my garage door and Gordag's doors was all too apparent to me. My wife's Focus was parked there along with the lawn mower, my mountain bike, and shelving with oil jugs, a gas can, and a lot of stuff for the cars and my bikes. I pulled down the gas can, opening it and offered it to Gordag. He sniffed it and stamped his right foot three times.

"Ged you gas from ground?" he asked.

"No, I buy it at the service station. Esso gets crude oil out of the ground and makes gasoline and other kinds of oil from it."

"Have you oil?" he asked.

"I don't have crude oil, but I have some 5W-40 here." I pulled down a four litre jug from the shelf and opened the lid. It was half full, so I didn't have to peel off the retaining sticker. I poured a little into my hand and some dripped on the ground. Gordag took the jug. I grabbed a rag and cleaned up the spill and my hands. Gordag stamped his right foot three times again. I reached to take the jug out of his hands, but he refused.

"Well, let me put the lid on it so it doesn't spill." I attached the lid.

"Fly we now," commanded Gordag. I closed the garage and we got back on the norzla. Gordag still had one hand on the oil jug as we flew back to the ship.

CHAPTER FOUR

For many, many thousand years ago
They lived beneath a massive water ring
That broke apart and fell upon the Earth
Which killed all life and flooded everything.

There were two questions I needed to ask Gordag, but I could tell on the flight back that he was in no mood to answer anything. He kept grunting and I could see that his right foot was agitated. In all this time, I never asked Gordag where he came from. And what was so important about gas and oil that vexed him? Somehow I felt that both questions would lead to a single answer.

We arrived back at the ship and got off the norzla. The doorway was opened. As we started up the ramp, I looked back at the norzla and it was gone. I wished I had seen how it got back into the ship.

Gordag's wives were waiting for him. He gave them the oil jug and some instructions that I could not understand. Then he turned to me, "Bobbee Marchug, angry I ad you for oil."

"I'm sorry, Gordag. Why is the oil so important to you?"

At this point Gordag told me his story. I'll give it here as I remember it but I'll do it without his accent. Throughout I interrupted him for clarification.

"Long ago our people lived on this planet you call Earth. We were the Neffel. It is a word meaning giant. All of us reptiles were giants compared to the mammals. Some of the mammals that looked like you Bobbee Marchug, also knew us as the Neffel. We traded with the human mammals, but they never trusted us. Their home was too far away across an ocean. The Neffel were more intelligent than the other reptiles. We kept animals for food and even as pets. Many of the large animals with long necks ate the leaves of trees but some of the big reptiles ate the flesh of creatures that had died. In that way, they kept the forest clean.

"The Earth was much warmer than it is now. The oceans were smaller and there were no high mountains like the Rockies, Alps, or Himalayans. At that time there was a ring of water that encircled the globe. It was similar to your planet Saturn. The ring was very wide and very thick. We could see the sun and moon as you do, but in certain months the sun would shine through the ring and the world was bathed in a beautiful rainbow glow of light. At night, when the moon shone through the ring, the Earth was illuminated with a soft glow.

"Our scientists had been observing this ring and were disturbed by the possibility that the ring could collapse. If it did so, they said, all that water which was in the form of ice would fall to the Earth. The damage to the planet and its population would be catastrophic. But more importantly, it would increase the level of water and possibly flood out the entire world. Some of your human mammals thought they could make a building that would touch the ring, but they were foolish because the ring was much higher than they could reach.

"We did not live in cities and houses as the human mammals did and as you do. Our homes were in the trees, huge trees. Although the world was verdant, our homes were in the Northern hemisphere in what is now part of Northern Alberta. The Neffel all lived in this area. We had a population of just a few thousand. Our women laid eggs only once in every ten years. Thus we men needed two wives each to increase our population.

"Our people had no means of propulsion. We had no engine, no gasoline. We could not escape Earth's gravity to leave the planet. There was despair among the people in light of the impending doom. Some of our people left the area intent on wreaking havoc throughout the world. They reasoned, that if they were going to die, they were going to unleash their passion. The vast majority, however, stayed in our homes supporting one another with vain hope.

"Rogdad Neffel is our most famous scientist because he was the one who invented gadmed which resulted in the salvation of our people. Gadmed is a force field. [Gordag called it a 'push away.'] Gadmed prevents objects from hitting whatever is protected, but it can also displace space. That is how the norzla moves. It exchanges the space in front of it for the space behind it causing it to move ahead. It is also the way this ship arrived here. Because it displaces space, it can travel much faster than light. Our planet is many light years away from here, but we can travel the distance in a few hours.

"Rogdad built a ship that was activated by the gadmed force field. Into it he loaded many young creatures and seeds of plants as well as food for all the animals. He asked for volunteers. Four men and their wives were selected along with Rogdad and his two wives, making a total of fifteen people. Chips of ice had been falling for months when Rogdad's ship moved off the Earth. There were plans for other ships, but the catastrophe struck on a day when Rogdad's crew were on a test flight.

"They had traveled to the moon but were too late to rescue anyone else. They watched in horror as the ring dropped to the Earth. The ice smashed everything. Within days the ice melted and the water swirled about flooding everything. Parts of the Earth were heaved up to form mountains and great valleys were formed and filled with water. In about a year the water had receded from the surface, but all the land was covered in silt. Great gullies were formed as water ran through the silt.

"The great forest was buried under the soil. The pressure of the rocks and the weight of the water in time turned the plants into coal. We have seen your mining operation all over the world trying to get that coal.

"In the north where we lived, the water froze in place in thick sheets you call glaciers. Everything we knew was destroyed. Some animals and your people survived by an unexplained miracle. We attempted to return, but there was no hope. Our people were gone.

"In time we settled a new planet much like Earth. Gragg is my home planet where I was hatched. Gragg means "home." The seeds that Rogdad brought germinated in the new soil. The animals flourished and so did we. Our population is now in the millions. Tame giants roam our land and do our bidding.

"We watched your progress through the years. Our ships were stationed on the other side of the moon. At times we had to fly a little closer and have had a brush with some of your flying machines, but we could easily escape detection. Our ships were much faster because we used the gadmed. No, we never abducted any of you. That is a silly notion, Bobbee.

"Our scientists have been working in genetic biology. Do you know the essential components of living things? They are formed in a spiral. What do you call it? DNA? We call it life spiral. Anyway, they can take the DNA cells of a creature and clone it. This has helped in furthering the development not only of our planet, but also of several others. We have populated eight planets. Some of them have just newly been populated. First we plant the vegetation and then the animals. My wife Doffag is from one of the newly populated planets.

"There are some species we did not take with us to Gragg. We took some insects, but not all we needed. Several thousand years ago we came back for the missing species: insects, plants, and animals. The harsh weather of your planet was not suitable for some animals. We have looked for them, but they do not seem to be on Earth. Our greatest search was for our own species. But there is no evidence that any of them survived the catastrophe.

"We have a problem in that only 15 of us survived and with inter-breeding our species is diluted. We need the DNA of those we left behind. It is therefore our desire to return to Earth and bring back the DNA of our families that died in the great catastrophe. Their remains are buried below the surface. And you have been removing the chemicals of their bodies for your oil and gasoline. This must stop until we have rescued our lost ones."

CHAPTER FIVE

The drivers crashed their cars into the wall
Of gadmed force and cursed their foolish way.
Although the cops arrived to guide them back,
The angry drivers did not like delay.

While I was with Gordag, the force field that surrounded the ship had stopped all traffic on the highway. Of course that was causing quite a stir of which I was totally unaware. Even when we flew to my house, I didn't look down for fear of falling and thus did not see all the traffic lined up. My wife doesn't listen to the news, so she wasn't aware of the problem when I talked to her at home.

The force field blocked traffic on Highway 11 to the west of the Highway 20 intersection where there are traffic lights. The first car, a Chrysler 300, hit the force field after having pulled away from the intersection. The driver said it was like hitting a giant pillow. He was probably going only thirty kilometres per hour. His air bags deployed and the car stalled. He got out of his car and walked toward the front to see the damage, but there wasn't a scratch. The force field kept him from going to the front of the car. A second car slowed in time to avoid hitting him. Then other cars began lining up from along Highway 11. Also Highway 20 was blocked by those who wanted to turn onto eleven.

Horns were honking and people were shouting. That's when the driver in the white half-ton pulled into the oncoming lane and passed all the cars. He hit the force field doing at least 130 km/h. The truck bounced off the force field and smashed into the Chrysler knocking its driver into the ditch.

People poured out of their cars to check on the condition of those who were injured. The Chrysler's driver ended up with a broken leg and other superficial injuries. The truck driver was bleeding from his head. He hadn't been wearing a seatbelt. That's when people discovered the force field believing it to be an invisible wall. Some were walking along its length looking for a break, but none was evident.

In the distance came the faint sound of sirens alerted by a dozen cell phones. Three police cars drove up the on-coming lane and passed the line of cars. One officer went to the scene of the accident while two others began traffic control sending cars to the north, up Highway 20.

"Hey officer, how am I supposed to get to Rocky?" called one driver.

"Take Highway 20 to the Rainy Creek Road, then east to Rocky. That road is not blocked," advised the constable. It was the instruction that would be repeated several times.

The damage on the east side of Highway 11 was minor compared to what happened on the west side of the force field.

A tractor-trailer unit carrying gasoline jackknifed as it was first to hit the force field. The whole unit burst into flames. The driver managed to jump out of the way. He knew he was carrying a potential bomb. He ran across the field before it exploded.

The newspaper reported his words, "It looked like the flames of hell. I got out of there as fast as I could." His injuries were only minor bruises.

The fire caught some of the stubble in the ditch, but the fields on both sides of the road had been plowed and seeded so that the flames were confined to the truck.

The next vehicles were stopped by the truck that blocked both sides of the road. They were unaware that there was a force field which had stopped the truck. Someone cell phoned the police in Red Deer, but they were having their own problems at the east end.

CHAPTER SIX

To start the trade between two distant stars,
What coin can Gordag use who knows no cash,
But calculates all things by laboured work
Performed with cheerful will or servile lash?

Gordag's two wives returned with the oil jug. They spoke to him with their grunts and hisses.

"Bobbee, embdy DNA in your oil. Equal DNA gone."

"You need to examine crude oil, not refined oil," I explained

"Ged you grude oil."

"We need to speak to someone at an oil refinery. Maybe they will let us have some crude oil. But I think there is going to be a problem if you go there. When my wife saw you, she thought you were a human wearing a mask. Her reaction is not typical. You might frighten others. Some might even want to shoot you. There are others who might want to capture you and even dissect you. If you go to someone in an oil refinery, even with me, they might not be happy to receive you."

"Go you do oil refinery," suggested Gordag. "Ride bige. Ged grude oil."

"First I'll have to find an oil refinery. I'm not even sure where to look. But I'm sure I won't be able to go there on my bike. I'll need my car. How much crude oil do you want?"

"Fill shib wid grude oil." Gordag got up and led me out of that room into another where one of his wives was busy in what looked like a chemistry lab. Then beyond that room was another in which was a row of six beds.

"Live we in this area. Equal resd of shib for sdorage."

"You mean this huge ship is a tanker to store the crude oil? That means about 30,000 cubic metres of oil. That's going to cost a lot of money. I bet it'll cost a half a million dollars. I don't suppose you have that much money in your pockets, do you."

"Whad money?"

"Money is what you use to buy something. If I give you my helmet, you must give me something of value to compensate it."

"No fid your helmed." It was a poor example since his head required a huge helmet to fit his comb.

"If I give you my watch, then. What will you give me for it?"

"Equal sad your wadch." Another bad example since our time did not seem logical to him.

"Okay, if I give you my bike, what would you give me?"

"Give I gadmed for bige."

"But that is not equal. One is worth more than the other. How will you make up the difference? In our society, money is needed to make the difference. If you did not have gadmed, and just wanted the bike without a trade, you would have to give me money to compensate me. Then I could take the money and spend it on something that I needed. Don't you have money on Gragg?"

Gordag tried to explain the economy of Gragg which I understand is based on labour. If you want to purchase something of value from someone else, you determine how much labour would be requested. So, for instance if you wanted a meal or product from a vendor, you would negotiate a labour value with him and determine that it was worth a length of time in labour. Then you and the vendor would call for an independent teller who records the transaction and keeps a portion of the labour amount for himself and a portion for the government. These tellers wander throughout the city recording transactions and collating the information.

When you do some work for your boss or someone else, the work credit is added to your total credit minus the labour you have spent for things you have purchased. Unlike money in the bank which may gain interest or be affected by inflation or recession, labour doesn't increase or decrease in value in some bank. If you work, your balance increases; if you spend, it decreases. If your total labour time goes in the red, a teller will ask if you can work at your job to make up the deficit. If your place of employment has no extra work for you, the teller will take you to where labour is required. You will have to work there until you build up a credit. Some of these labour jobs are not the most pleasant (such as cleaning manure from the streets), so people try to keep within their means. If you cannot work, someone can do the work for you and apply the credit to your account. Wives, for instance, will work and add the credit to the family total.

The government uses their share of transactions to credit the officials, police, and other agencies for their work.

About this time my bladder was giving me some anxious moments. "Gordag, where is your toilet?"

"Whad doiled?"

"The place where you deposit body fluids."

Gordag led me to a side room off the bedroom. I wish he had just given me a bucket. The contraption in front of me bore no resemblance to a toilet. There was no hole. It was a short raised ledge that looked like a two-by-four on the floor and some wires and cables toward the wall. I later learned that a Neffel backed up to the length of the raised ledge and placed his or her tail into a sling at the back which activated a mechanism that opened a short narrow slot in the ledge. That slot was about 150 mm long and 20 mm wide into which waste was released. Having no tail, I could not operate the mechanism to get the slot to open.

I called for Gordag and he tried to explain and directed me to walk backward into the mechanism. That's when he noticed I had no tail. He operated the sling manually behind me while I straddled the narrow slot. The slot was directly below me and there was no way to direct my stream into it. I walked forward and turned around facing the sling. I was still wearing my bike tights over my bike shorts. Neither of them has a fly. I lowered my tights and shorts somewhat and aimed for the narrow slot. I have a bashful bladder at the best of times, but with Gordag looking on and facing the challenge of hitting the hole accurately, I hesitated. Suddenly my bladder could take it no more and I "went." I may be optimistic, but I think about 75 percent went into the hole, but the rest splashed on either side of it and on Gordag's boots.

"Sorry about that Gordag," I apologized as I pulled on my clothes. "Have we got a rag to clean up the mess?" There didn't seem to be any toilet paper or toweling. Gordag called for Boodub who came in with some cleaning equipment. She cleaned up the mess and I kept saying that I would pay her back for the labour.

"No pay Bobbee labour," said Boodub.

"Thank you Boodub. I am so sorry for this mess."

"Ead you now," Gordag said.

"Do you have some place to wash off my hands?" When I was in my garage, I had spilled oil on them and there was still some residue in my fingerprints. Also my black cycling gloves left black marks on my hands. Now with urinating, I felt the need to wash before eating. I could be eating with my fingers for all I knew. I showed him my hands and Gordag ushered me back into the lab. There was an empty sink but I couldn't see a faucet. I waved my hand around the sink thinking it operated automatically. Nothing happened.

"Why move you your hands?" Gordag asked.

"I want to get them clean. How do I get the water to come out?"

"Use you gadmed."

"Show me how to use the gadmed," I requested. Gordag grabbed my right hand and touched the gadmed on my wrist. Nothing seemed to happen; but when I looked at my hands they were spotless. I looked around to see where the "dirt" might have gone, but couldn't find it.

Boodub said, "Gome you and ead." She pointed to a counter on which were three boxes with food in them. I am not a particularly fussy eater, but I approached the food with some hesitancy. For all I know, they could be serving me something that is good for them but poisonous for me. Or it might even taste bad or even look bad. I know that people from other cultures serve food that is not common in our culture. I've heard that Africans eat locusts. They eat them raw or cook them until they pop and eat them like popcorn. Also an exchange student from China said that the worst thing he had to eat in Canada was mashed potatoes. So I approached the food determined to eat only what I could easily identify. Boodub handed me an empty box and urged me to help myself. When it comes to etiquette, I never know which fork to use or what to do first.

"Boodub, thank you. I am not sure of your procedure. Could you please go first to show me what I should do?"

"Equal wise Bobbee," said Boodub as she went to the first box. Green leaves appeared in her box, then at the next box, brown meat appeared in her box, at the third box, a yellow thing appeared in her box. Now when I say these things appeared, I mean that she did not scoop them into her box for there were no utensils. It dawned on me. They used the gadmed. "Oh great," I thought. I can't make the gadmed do anything, so how was I going to get it to put food into my box? I approached the first box and was about to ask how to activate the gadmed when something leafy appeared in my box automatically. The gadmed worked on its own. I got the piece of meat and the yellow thing which was like a fat parsnip. Boodub had moved to another counter. I walked over beside her. The other two followed me.

For a moment I thought they might use the gadmed to transfer the food into their stomachs. Boodub picked up the meat with her hand and took a bite. At least the issue of which fork to use was solved. Most meat tastes like chicken, they say, so I anticipated that this meat from whatever animal would taste the same. Instead, I recognized it at once. It was beef. It was well done and tender, probably the best I have ever eaten. The green leaf tasted a little like lettuce but it had a sharp taste. The tuber tasted like a cross between a turnip and a carrot. It was good.

The three Neffels went back for more, but I was satisfied with the one helping. Each time they went back, they took only one of each item even though they went back five or six times. That was obviously a part of their custom which I stored away in my memory. As well, no communication took place during the meal. Mealtime was for eating not speaking.

When they were done, Boodub gathered up the boxes and put them away. Just before she took mine, I noticed that it was clean. It was gadmed again. My wife would love this thing. She would set it so the house would practically clean itself no dishwasher, no washer, clean rugs, clean windows. This thing would be wonderful.

Boodub handed me a small box with liquid in it. I sniffed at it and it smelled citric. I saw the others take a drink. Well here goes, I thought. I took a sip. It tasted like a fruit mixture of orange, lemon, and kiwi. It would be great for bike trips instead of the Gatorade I had in my second bottle. They told me it was mabnooz. It was a fruit that grew in abundance on Gragg and had once been here on the Earth before the catastrophe.

Already I was thinking of all the things that Neffel culture could benefit mankind. There was obviously potential for making a few dollars in the sale of these products. At the same time, I realized that these things could also hurt the economy. The gadmed and norzla would destroy the automobile industry. The gadmed cleaning would ruin companies that sold soaps, brooms, and vacuums to say nothing of the loss of jobs.

As we stood drinking our fruit juice, Boodub asked me, "Equal you age?"

"I am 28 years old." All three of them gave a gasp. At least that is what it sounded like.

"Equal you 28 years?" asked Gordag. I thought he might have misunderstood our lessons on time.

"Yes, 28 times that Earth went around the sun since I was born," I explained. "How old are you?"

"Equal I do thousand four hundred six years. Equal Doffag one thousand one hundred sevendy-seven years. Equal Boodub do hundred dwelve years. Equal she very young."

"Are those Earth years?"

"Yes. Equal you surbrised?"

"Our people don't live much past one hundred years. Many die around seventy or less. How can you live so long?"

Gordag explained that before the catastrophe humans lived to be nearly a thousand years old. Likewise his people lived that long. But when they invented the gadmed, their lifespan was increased even more. Gadmed can be used to remove disease and restore worn out parts. The cartilidges in joints can be restored. Even aged brain cells can be rejuvenated. The life's expectancy of a Neffel is around ten thousand years. Early death is caused by serious accidents for which gadmed cannot be used to restore a victim to life. He had a wife that died in such an incident. When she was sightseeing on one of the new planets, she slipped and fell into an active volcano. Shortly afterward Gordag married Boodub who was already over a hundred years old.

"Helb gadmed your body," said Gordag.

It was true that I didn't ache from my ride, but I attributed it to the excitement of meeting the Neffel. Gordag explained that the gadmed on my wrist examined my DNA and began restoring my body in agreement to it.

CHAPTER SEVEN

To use a gadmed takes a skill of mind
That is required to build protective shield
To halt the action of unwanted men
Or bring a welcome friend into the field.

I asked, "Gordag, if we are going to contact some official in control of the crude oil in the north, I need to get back home and start making some phone calls. I'm not even sure who to call first. I'd like to talk to my MLA and the Premier ... maybe even the Prime Minister. I guess I could even talk to someone locally who is drilling for oil. Man, this is confusing."

"Go we your home."

"Yah, let's go to my home."

Once again we rode the norzla to my house.

"Redurn I do shib."

"How will I contact you? I can't drive to the ship because I can't get through the force field."

"Bermid gadmed you."

"Right, the gadmed will let me go through. Okay, here's the plan. I'll make some calls and see if we can set up a meeting with somebody in charge and drive back to the ship."

Gordag got back on the norzla and took off. I walked into the house glad I had the key this time, took off my bike shoes and headed for the bedroom to change out of my bike clothes.

"Is that you, honey," called my wife. "Yes, dear. I'm just getting changed and then I have to make a few phone calls. By the way, where are you?"

"I'm in the office. The Avon order came and I'm sorting the order. I could have used you to haul the boxes into the office, you know. I had to do that myself and there were eight boxes this time."

"Sorry dear. I was with Gordag. We're going to try to take all the oil out of Northern Alberta."

"That's nice, dear."

I changed into a pair of jeans and T-shirt and tossed the bike clothes into the hamper. I put my bike shoes, bike gloves, and helmet in the rack. Usually I go for a shower after a ride, but the urgency of making the phone calls was on me. That's when I realized it was Saturday. What was I thinking? Any political official wouldn't be available. Already it was 5:30. What with tomorrow being Sunday there wouldn't be anyone available until Monday.

I picked up a clip board and a bunch of blank paper as well as a couple of pens. If I were going to continue communicating with Gordag, I'd probably need these tools. I also pocketed my Palm pilot. For a moment I thought of taking my laptop, but the battery is poor on it.

"Honey, I've got to go back to Gordag's ship. I didn't realize on Saturday I couldn't make the phone calls I want."

"Are you going to sell the car to Gordon?"

"No, but I'll drive out there and I'll try to be back a little later."

"Will you be back for supper?"

"I hope so, but can we have supper a little later? I already had a bite to eat with Gordag."

"That's fine. I'll be busy with the Avon order for a while. By the way, thanks for getting rid of that old couch on the lawn. Drive carefully. They say there is a bunch of accidents on highway 11."

"Thanks for the heads-up. Bye dear."

I think she said "bye," but I was already out the door. I thought about going to the ship by way of highway 11A which parallels highway 11 in order to avoid the accidents that were probably caused by the force field. But it was quicker to use highway 11. The traffic seemed to be about the same as usual until I crested the hill just before the Highway 20 intersection. There were several police cars with their lights flashing. I was in a lineup of a dozen cars or so. We were inching along as the police were directing traffic down Highway 20 and giving everyone advice. A police car was parked sideways to prevent anyone from going directly west into the force field. I knew I had the gadmed so I could get through, but how was I going to get past the police barricade?

When I got to the corner, I had the window down and the officer poked his head in, "Where are you going, sir?"

"Ah, Benalto."

"Sorry, all roads to Benalto are blocked. Do you live there, sir?"

"No, I live in Red Deer. I'm supposed to meet someone in Benalto."

"Well no one can get there today. Your friend will have to wait until this emergency is over. You will have to go back to Red Deer. Take highway 20 and then east on 11A."

The officer backed away. I saw that there was enough room to the left of the parked police cruiser if I used the shoulder and part of the oncoming lane. I gunned the engine and swerved to the left hoping that I didn't run over the officer's toes. He was yelling at me, but I kept driving. I passed the parked cruiser and entered the force field. I later learned that the police thought the force field was down and one of them attempted to give chase but was repelled by the force field. They examined various parts of it thinking that I had discovered a hole in the field.

When I got to the ship, I parked the car in a pull-out nearby and walked toward the ship. No entry door opened for me.

"Hey Gordag. It's me, Bobby Marchuk."

The doorway opened and I walked in. Gordag was waiting for me. Apparently he had been sleeping.

"Wage you me, Bobbee."

"Sorry about waking you. I didn't expect to be back so soon. I got changed and was about to make some phone calls when I realized that this is Saturday. All the officials are off for the weekend both today and tomorrow. We'll have to contact them on Monday. We could talk to the police. I had a little run in with them as I crossed the force field. I left my cell phone in my bike bag."

"Gall you bolice. Say you thad harm we nobody. Gome we in beace."

I retrieved my cell phone and dialed 911.

"911. Please state your emergency."

"Hello. My name is Bobby Marchuk. I need to talk to someone about the force field surrounding Benalto."

"911 is for emergencies only. For police inquiries, please call 403-346-1111."

I redialed the number given to me and was put on hold. In a moment, Constable Westling answered, "How can I help you."

"Hi, my name is Bobby Marchuk. I have some information about the force field surrounding Benalto."

"We have officers on site who are taking care of that emergency. It would be in your best interest to avoid the area. The last thing we need are sightseers in the area to obstruct their work."

"But I know what caused it."

"Are you a scientist from the university, sir"

"No, but a space ship landed and ..." click the phone went dead. It was obvious that he thought I was a crackpot.

I dialed the number again and it was Constable Westling again.

"Sir, I am not a crackpot. Please check with the officers on duty and they will tell you that my white Ford Taurus wagon just went through the force field. Then call me back on my cell at 403-780-5432." Then I hung up and waited.

A few moments later my cell phone rang. I know a lot of people have special tunes on their phones, but mine just makes an old-fashioned ring. When riding my bike, musical sounds come from homes and passing cars. A ring noise alerts me better than music. I answered the call.

"Constable Westling here. Who am I speaking to?"

"My name is Bobby Marchuk. I live in Red Deer and I drive a 1995 Ford Taurus wagon."

"I contacted our officers on highway, sir. You broke the law by disobeying the direct order of our officer."

"Yes I did; but I did it because I am in contact with the people who put the force field there. The evidence that I was able to cross the force field should convince you that I am in possession of information about it. I need to speak to some people in authority. I need to talk to the Alberta Premier and the Prime Minister on a matter of national importance. Can you help me touch base with them?"

"What am I going to tell them that is of such importance as you indicate, sir?"

"Tell them visitors from another planet have landed near Benalto and have set up a force field around their space ship. I have been in communication with the aliens. They have come in peace and mean no harm, but we need to establish relations with them. They have demands that need to be addressed. I cannot stress enough how important this is. Goodbye."

I clicked off the phone without waiting for his response. Turning to Gordag, I said, "Well the ball is now in their court. I hope we get some action soon."

"Equal who Bremier and Brime Minister?"

I explained, "The Premier is the leader of this province of Alberta and the Prime Minister is the leader of all of Canada." I drew a rough map of North America showing the countries of Canada, U.S.A., and Mexico. Then I drew the boundary lines of the western provinces showing Alberta. Then I marked the spot where we were. I was probably off by a hundred kilometres. I hoped it would begin to make some sense to him.

"Equal Ganada mosd imbordand goundry in your world."

"We like to think Canada is the most important country, but there are other countries that are probably more important. U.S.A, European countries, Russia, Japan, and China would all think they were the most important. Now that you have landed in Canada, I guess all the world will be looking at Canada."

I was still puzzled about the gadmed and especially the force field. "Gordag, does the gadmed force field go all the way around your ship?"

"Yes"

"What about above us? Could someone land a plane on top of your ship?"

"No, surround gadmed my shib." He waved his arms to show that gadmed surrounded the ship from all dimensions.

"How does gadmed work? It keeps me from falling, it makes the norzla fly, it puts food on my plate, and it is keeping me healthy. How does it do all that?"

"Hid you my arm."

I reached out to tap his arm, but I hit a force field. He was protected by his gadmed.

"Hid you my arm," he repeated.

I reached out to tap his arm again and this time I touched it. That confused me. Why did the force field drop the second time?

"Durn gadmed on off by my mind. Dry you. Durn gadmed on. Hid I you."

I thought "On, on, turn on, turn on." Gordag reached out to hit me, but his hand bounced back. I didn't feel a thing.

"Durn gadmed off."

I thought "Off, off, turn off, turn off." This time Gordag slugged me in the chest and I fell back onto the couch. I laughed thinking, "The first interplanetary conflict. Earthman slugged by alien." Gordag held out his hand and helped me up. I was still laughing. Then I heard Gordag laugh. It sounded like loud grunts and coughs. I wasn't sure at first that it was laughter, but there is something infectious about laughter.

Gadmed works as a personal force field that is controlled by the mind. It permits or rejects contact as a person wishes. Gordag controlled the norzla by his mind thus there was no need for a steering wheel. The ship's force field rejected the entrance of everyone else except those of us with a gadmed. "Who controls the ship's gadmed?" I asked.

"Gontrol Doffag and Boodub shib gadmed. Equal shib their home. Bermid they you. No bermid they everybody else."

"Yes, my wife is the same way. I don't invite anyone into my home without my wife's permission."

Gordag laughed and so did I. Then the phone rang.

CHAPTER EIGHT

In all the world there is but just one spot
That meant the most to Neffel study team;
But men without this knowledge took the oil.
So utmost urgency became extreme.

The voice on the line was not familiar to me. I've heard the Premier and the Prime Minister on TV.

"Hello, this is the Premier's office. To whom am I speaking?" His grammar was better than Constable Westling.

"Hi, I'm Bobby Marchuk. How can I help you?" This time I wasn't going to give away more information until I talked to someone with more authority.

"We have been in contact with Constable Westling in Red Deer who communicated that you have information about the force field west of Red Deer. Can you tell me more about it?"

"I am somewhat reluctant to tell you the story when I am going to have to repeat it over and over. I'd like to speak directly to Premier Ed Stelmach, please. I know it is late but this is important."

"Sir, are you responsible for creating the force field? Do you realize it is responsible for a number of traffic accidents?"

"No, I didn't create the force field. I expect that Constable Westling has already informed you that I said a space ship has landed near Benalto and set up the force field. Whether you believe in extraterrestrials or not is not the issue. You need to call up the Premier so I can talk to him. The aliens do not wish to harm anyone. They have come in peace. However they have power that is far beyond ours. You don't want to be responsible for angering them."

I looked at my watch. It was quarter after eight. "I know it is late," I continued, "but this has international implications. You have my cell phone number. Please have the Premier contact me right away."

I hung up without allowing him to respond. I realized that I had forgotten to get the guy's name thinking that I wouldn't know who to blame if my bluff wasn't called.

Boodub came in with a tray of fruit juice boxes.

"Dring you mabnooz?"

"Thank you, Boodub. There is no way I'd refuse mabnooz."

Turning to Gordag, I said, "That last phone call was from some underling in the provincial office. I hope he realizes the urgency of contacting the Premier."

"Drill men oil ad this nighd?"

"Yes, I think they drill for oil day and night. Can you show me on a map where your DNA oil is located? Is it all over Alberta?"

"Equal DNA here," said Gordag as he pointed at my rough drawing. His finger pointed to the northern part of Alberta. That's when I thought of my PDA. I pulled it out and showed him a map of Alberta. I had downloaded the map a year ago when I thought I might want to consider alternate cycling routes. I would have tried to download a Google map, but I knew I was well out of wi-fi range. Gordag was impressed with the map and the Palm pilot. As he examined the map more carefully than my rough drawing, he pointed to the Fort McMurray area. His DNA oil was in the oil sands.

"That is where the oil sands are located. The oil is mixed with sand. It's not easy to get the oil. It is mixed with the sand and they have quite an operation to remove the oil from the sand. We'd have to get permission from the government and from whoever is in charge of the Syncrude mining operation.

"I remember studying about the oil sands. A lot of us in Alberta studied it in school. People have been looking at the oil deposit there for over a hundred years. At first they thought the oil on the surface was an indication that there was an underground pool of it and it was just seeping up to the surface. They tried to drill some holes but couldn't hit the well. Then they used the oil sand mixture for paving roads and tarring roofs until they found that asphalt was cheaper. There were a number of outfits that tried to get the oil out of the sand, but they couldn't make a profit. Then the Alberta government took over the operation about 60 years ago. The government had oversight of the operation, but various companies tried to make a profit until about 30 years ago Syncrude took over.

"Oil sand is visible on the banks of the Athabasca River, north and south of Fort McMurray, but most of the oil sand in the area lies buried 50 metres or deeper. As I understand it, they dig up the oil-sand mixture and transport it to a facility where they mix it with hot water. The oil floats to the top so they could skim it off. The oil is really thick. It is called bitumen. Then they process it more to turn it into crude oil so it can be processed into other uses. They get about 350,000 barrels per day."

I had to do a quick calculation. The ship could hold no more than about 200,000 barrels. "They could fill this ship twice every day."

"Your DNA oil could be anywhere. It could even be processed already. If I showed you a more accurate map, could you tell me exactly where your DNA is?"

"No dell me you. Moved gread gadasdrobe the remains."

"Could the great catastrophe have buried the remains under 50 metres of stuff?"

"Dake we sambles from every sbot. Then find we the DNA."

"To do that, we need to get permission from Syncrude and the government."

"Ged you jugs. Fill we with sambles."

"I think Syncrude can supply some empty jugs for the samples if we can get their participation."

Then the phone rang.

CHAPTER NINE

Communication changed in recent time
Where phones become the means to contact you;
But Neffel men negotiate one way
To watch your eyes to see your words are true.

I use my cell phone only for out-going calls. No one has the number except my family and now the few I had given today. My first thought was a call from the Premier or maybe from the unnamed person I had talked to. Or it could have been Constable Westling. I didn't expect a call from my wife.

"Hello, dear. Do you realize what time it is? Are you still out with Gordon? When are you coming home? Have you eaten anything? Did you know there was a reporter at the door asking for you? Are you involved in some prank about space ships? There is a crowd gathering on our front lawn. Did you know the phone is ringing off the hook with people asking about invaders from space?"

She didn't let me respond to each question before firing the next one. When she did pause, I said, "I'm sorry dear. I should have called you and let you know what was happening. Yes, I am with Gordag. His family gave me something to eat. I'll try to be home right away. Don't let anyone into the house. Lock the doors. I love you dear."

"I love you, too. Don't be too late. I'm a little scared."

I hung up and turned to Gordag, "Can you give me a ride on the norzla to my home again? I don't want to try driving through the police roadblock with my car or my bike." Even though it was nine o'clock, it was still light out since the sun didn't set until well after nine in that latitude. I could still have ridden my bike, but I left my helmet and bike shoes at home.

Once again Gordag and I got on the norzla and flew home. Even though there was a crowd at the front of the house, the blue colour of the norzla and the fact that we approached the house from above precluded any possibility of being spotted by the crowd. I instructed Gordag to land in my backyard. It is fenced in so I hoped that the crowd at the front of the house wouldn't notice if we landed at the back. Since Liz had locked the doors and wasn't going to answer the door if I rang the buzzer, I had to phone her to let me in. Gordag came in with me and his comb brushed the top of the door.

Liz was relieved to see me and I got a long passionate kiss from her. I hated to stop. With my arm around my wife, I said, "Honey, could I have your cell phone? I need to give it to Gordag so we can keep in contact. You will get it back again."

I gave my wife's cell phone to Gordag and showed him how to answer and call on it. I needed mine in case the Premier called. When he did, I wanted to contact Gordag who would be back at the ship. I thought of taking Liz back to the ship with Gordag, but wasn't sure if the norzla would have enough seating room for three. Besides, Liz needed comforting. I hoped that the crowd would go away once it really got dark.

"Gordon, would you like something to eat or drink?" my wife offered.

What surprised me was the fact that Liz took Gordag's appearance in stride. She had first thought he was a human in a mask; but with all the commotion of the crowd, reporters, and phone calls, she had to assume Gordag was an alien. She is a true diplomat.

"Yes, wand I food, Liz"

Off she went into the kitchen to prepare something while Gordag and I went into the living room. Funny she didn't ask him what he might like. Guests usually prefer coffee and cookies, so I thought that might be what she would bring. Our chairs would not accommodate his tail, so Gordag sat on the hassock. I brought out the TV tables, set them up, and sat in my easy chair. Liz came into the room with a tray and set it down on one of the tables. She had a slice of apple pie topped with a scoop of ice cream for each of us. In the cups she had coffee. I wasn't sure what Gordag would think of this food. "Gordag, if this is not suitable, we can get you something else," I said.

I thought Gordag might use his gadmed to move the food around, but he waited until he saw me use my fork to eat a bite of the pie. In like manner he did the same. I waited for some response, but he made no comment. Then he tried the ice cream. That's when he made a grunt.

"Equal this cold. Equal this good."

I put a little sugar in my coffee. Liz drinks hers with both sugar and cream.

"How do you like your coffee, Gordon?" asked Liz.

"Equal this firsd dime."

"Honey, Gordag has never had coffee before," I translated. Then turning to Gordag, I said, "Some people drink it plain. Others put sugar in it like I did, or they put cream in it without sugar. Or, like Liz, they put in both sugar and cream. You can try it without anything and then add the others to see if you like it better or not."

Gordag took a sip of the coffee and nearly gagged on it. I should have warned him that it was hot. But he took another sip. Then he added some sugar and stirred it, took a sip. Then added some cream, stirred it as Liz had done. After he took a sip, he said, "Equal this good."

"Gordon, you have good taste. I've been telling Bobby that coffee is best with cream and sugar," Liz gloated.

"Gordag, we'll have to take you to Tim Horton's for a double-double," I said and Liz laughed.

Although I don't think Gordag actually caught the humor of it, he understood laughter. He laughed again with his grunts and coughs. It surprised Liz, but when I started laughing, she did too.

While we ate our pie and ice cream and drank our coffee, I explained to Gordag and Liz that there are always people who were anxious to see an alien from another planet. Some would be friendly while others might seek to harm him or us. Gordag reached into one of his pockets and pulled out another gadmed and gave it to Liz. She thought it was a pretty bracelet until I explained its properties. Gordag taught us how to set up resistance and acceptance.

"Well dear if you get frisky and I am not in the mood, now I can set up resistance and you can't come near me," Liz said with a big grin on her face. I smiled too and hoped she wouldn't have to use resistance on me.

Then Gordag said that since we had two gadmeds, we could link them in harmony and set up a force field around the whole house to give protection to our property. I thought this was an excellent idea in case someone outside thought he could get our attention by throwing a brick through the window. Once the force field was set up, we pushed the curtain aside and peeked out the window to see people attempting to get close to the house but being forced back.

By now it was well past ten and still no answer from the Premier. I guessed that he wouldn't call until the morning. That's when the cell phone rang.

I answered the phone and talked briefly with the Premier's assistant who wanted to confirm who I was and then transferred the call to the Premier. Whenever I heard the Premier on TV or read some of the things he said in the newspaper, he struck me as a person who is open to the common guy. That was how I thought I would approach him.

"Mr Stelmach, thank you for calling me at this late hour. I have the representative of the planet Gragg with me in my home. His name is Gordag and he is friendly, but he has just been learning English and has a little difficulty being understood. He is not used to communication over a telephone. All of his contact is person to person. He would like to meet you and present his proposal. I realize that you might approach such a meeting with some apprehension, so we would like to suggest that you could fly to the Red Deer Regional Airport near Penhold and bring along adequate military protection. We will also fly there just Gordag and me. The space ship will remain outside of Benalto. If that is acceptable, we need to know what time you want to meet?"

"Mr. Marchuk, I want to thank you first of all for contacting me. I am not sure if I should be the one you want to negotiate with. I am a little hesitant because my advisors are suggesting that this is a hoax of some sort. However the evidence of the force field near Benalto is certainly an indication that you could be telling the truth. Other advisors suggest that the alien, if he truly exists, could be deceiving you with his friendship in order to become aggressive at our meeting."

"Sir, I don't mean to be disrespectful, but if Gordag were trying to trick people of Earth, he would have chosen someone with more authority than a Premier of a province. He would have chosen the president of the U.S."

"Yes, that argument was put forward. And in light of all the arguments, we are still willing to meet with Gordag. I think that's what you said he was named. Would ten tomorrow morning be suitable?"

"Thank you Mr. Stelmach. Ten would be O.K. Gordag promises not to bring any weapons with him," I said without consulting Gordag.

The Premier hung up and I turned to Gordag, "We are going to meet with the Premier at ten tomorrow. That is about twelve hours from now. I also suggested that you would not be bringing any weapons with you. We can keep the gadmed, of course."

"Go I do shib now," said Gordag as he headed toward the back door.

"I will phone you at 8 to fly back here to pick me up. There are a few things we will need to go over before we meet the Premier." I realized that Gordag did not use our time system, so I gave him one of my wrist watches. I was going to give him the analog one, but thought better of it. How would I explain "Mickey's little hand and big hand" to him. So I gave him the digital watch which made more sense to him.

Liz came from the kitchen carrying the rest of the pie. "Gordon, I want you to take this pie for your wives. I'd give you some ice cream, but it might melt before you get there."

"Thang I you Liz."

After Gordag left, I thought it would be good to practice with the gadmed, but Liz was more interested in washing the dishes. I turned on the TV to catch the evening news and saw that the lead report was on the force field and my connection with it. I wondered who had contacted the media. It had to be someone in the government office. I doubted if Constable Westling would have done it. While I watched, I saw my house on the screen. Someone had a camera filming just when Liz and I activated the force field around the house. It showed people being pushed back off the lawn. Then others were trying to break through it without success. Some of the people they interviewed suggested that I was an alien.

My neighbour, Bill Thompson, said "I always suspected there was something strange about Bobby. He says he goes out on long rides on his bicycle. That's not normal for an adult. When he is at home, he works on his computer. I think he is trying to contact the mother ship. This force field he put up is proof that he is one of them."

Another lady I've never seen before said, "I know his wife Liz and I feel sorry for her. She is human and it just scares me to think that she is in the house with an alien. He is probably controlling her and doing all kinds of unspeakable things to her."

I thought, "They just watch too much science fiction." I was about to turn off the TV when the newscaster announced that the Premier would meeting with the aliens in the morning at the Red Deer Regional Airport. Who leaked that information, I wondered? That's when I turned it off.

Liz came into the living room and I suggested heading off to bed. "Can we put the gadmed on acceptance," I suggested.

"That sounds nice ... if you can catch me," she said as she ran off to the bedroom.

* * * *

Before I continue with the following events, I should point out that it seems that Gordag and his wives always spoke short sentences. It does appear that way in this text, but there were always added grunts, whistles, clicking, and other noises around these words. They were used for emphasis, queries, statement, etc. I caught on to his words, but Liz had some problems with it.

* * * *

CHAPTER TEN

When meeting someone that you never met
Before, the protocol must be obeyed;
But what's the rule when diff'ring species meet
And both of them are hoping for some trade?

We got up early, showered, and ate breakfast. Gordag appeared at eight with Boodub. I introduced my wife to her and the two of them went into the kitchen to exchange recipes or talk about men or whatever women do when they are alone. I had to talk to Gordag about some protocol.

"When we meet someone in an official capacity, it is proper to shake their hands," I explained.

"Glab we hands on Gragg," Gordag explained because clapping shows there are no weapons in any hand.

"Well we clap hands when we are pleased with something. But to greet someone, we hold out our right hand and grasp it this way," I showed him. I was glad we were not meeting some French dignitary. Kissing on each cheek might have been a little hard to do.

Before we left, I notice that there was a crowd starting to gather near the house. The gadmeds that Liz and I had covered the whole house, but I was a little apprehensive about leaving Liz alone even with her gadmed because it would protect only her, not the house. I mentioned my concern to Gordag.

"Sday Boodub with Liz; cover gadmeds your house."

"If Boodub is here with Liz, don't you need two people to cover your ship?"

Gordag explained that when they left Gragg, they had a total of six gadmeds. One each for Gordag and his two wives. The other three were for the ambassador (meaning me) and my two wives as they assumed the ambassador would have. Doffag would wear two gadmeds and that would protect the ship.

Gordag's explanation caused me to wonder if gadmeds were not as common on Gragg as I had first supposed.

"Does everyone on Gragg have a gadmed?"

"No have gadmed like this. Have beoble dro-med." That's when Gordag explained that the hoi poloi have the dro-med which is a low-power gadmed. A dro-med keeps people in good health and extends their life. It also protects them from direct attack or injury in a fall. Like the gadmed they can set it to reject or accept. However, even together, they cannot protect a house. Also, the dro-med does not permit private flying on a norzla. The operators of public transportation and spaceships are considered government officials and they have a gadmed for flying. Gadmeds are reserved for the government council, certain scientists, and their wives. A person with a gadmed can override someone with a dro-med set for resistance. In this way, police can capture criminals, but criminals cannot hurt the police. I felt privileged that I was wearing a gadmed, not a dro-med. My status was that of an ambassador.

As Gordag and I left Boodub and Liz, I gave Liz a kiss. It appeared that they had been communicating. I had even heard them laughing. I made a mental note to myself to ask Liz what was so funny. Gordag and I walked out the back door and sat in the norzla. I was getting a little used to this means of travel, but my fear of heights still made me a little apprehensive. We went straight up several hundred metres. Gordag asked for directions, so I pointed south. In moments we had arrived above the Red Deer Regional Airport. I spotted the main terminal and we landed at one end of the area in front of the terminal. I figured it was the strategically best location to observe the tarmac as well as anyone in the terminal.

We must have presented an interesting sight: two people sitting on a couch waiting for the Premier. No space cruiser or alien jet. No space suits. I was wearing dress pants, polo shirt, and a leather jacket. Gordag still had his coveralls and helmet. Aside from the largeness of his head, he looked like a mechanic or tradesman.

There was a small crowd of people outside the terminal waiting for us and the Premier. They didn't even look our direction not expecting that we were one half of the dignitaries. And I wasn't prepared to go to them and explain who we were. So we just sat there waiting for the Premier to arrive.

In a few moments the Premier's jet arrived. It landed a distance away from the terminal. Then two other planes also landed and taxied toward the terminal. It was obvious from the markings on the last two that they were military planes. A dozen or more soldiers jumped out of them and lined themselves in front of their planes. Once they were in position, the first plane taxied closer between the two planes. A number of people dressed in business attire came out of that plane.

While these planes were getting into position a crowd of people who had been inside the terminal joined those who were outside and they started toward the business-suited dignitaries. Some of the police in the crowd and the soldiers held them back. All the while Gordag and I sat there watching the proceedings unobserved by the others.

A couple of reporters and cameramen were allowed to approach the Premier and some words were exchanged, but they were too far away for me to catch what they were saying. The time was just a little before ten, so I thought it was wise to wait until the stroke of ten. At which time, I motioned to Gordag to stand. Then I called out, "Mr. Premier." I have a very loud voice. My mother used to call me a foghorn. "Mr. Premier, we are here."

Gordag stood a head taller than I and even more so with his helmet, so he was spotted right away. The cameras turned in our direction. So did a number of rifles.

We slowly walked toward the Premier with my hands out front of me. Gordag imitated me. "Mr. Premier, my name is Bobby Marchuk." As we got even closer, two tough looking men moved a half-step ahead of the Premier. We were about three metres apart when I repeated, "Mr. Premier, I am Bobby Marchuk and I would like to introduce Gordag Neffel of the planet Gragg."

Gordag held out his right hand as I had instructed him. The two toughs were about to block the interchange, but the Premier advanced and stuck out his hand in turn.

"Equal I habby do meed you Misder Bremier."

I explained, "Gordag is happy to meet you sir." As I explained previously when Gordag used "happy" he really meant "suitable" or "expeditiously" or "logical." It did not mean he was pleased.

"I am happy to meet you also Gordag. Where would you like to conduct our meeting?"

"Perhaps we could meet inside the terminal, sir. The temperature outside is a little cool for Gordag," I suggested.

As we moved toward the terminal, the police and soldiers kept the crowd off to either side of the doorway. Since everyone was outside to see the Premier, the terminal itself was relatively empty. I took a look at the norzla and saw someone approaching it. I nudged Gordag.

"Is the norzla safe where it is?"

"Has norzla dro-med." A minor force field surrounded the norzla protecting it from curious inspection.

Just then I heard two separate noises, the bang of a gun and something that sounded like, "EEE-whup-EEE-whup."

As we were rushed into the terminal, Gordag said, "Brodegd gadmed me."

The Premier's bodyguards entered the terminal first, then held the door open for the Premier, Gordag, and me. Two policemen entered with us, but the soldiers guarded the closed doors.

Inside the terminal we could hear the faint sound of several more shots. Then a soldier came in and whispered something to one of the bodyguards who whispered to the Premier in turn.

"It would appear," said the Premier, "that someone fired a shot at Gordag, but he must have missed since Gordag is okay. The gunman has been killed."

"Actually," I explained, "the gunman did not miss. Gordag said he was protected by his personal force field. I am also protected by one. That is why we were not afraid to meet with you unarmed. The weapons of the soldiers and others cannot hurt us."

"Why gilled they gunman? Hid he nobody," Gordag asked.

"Gordag wants to know why the gunman was killed since he didn't hurt us."

The Premier motioned to one of the bodyguards and they whispered together. The bodyguard called the soldier over and they whispered to each other. Then the bodyguard spoke to the Premier who said to us, "Although you and Gordag were not hit by his bullet, his next shot might have been aimed at me or one of my men. When he was approached by the soldiers, he refused to drop his weapon and was shot."

The Premier stretched out his arm and said, "Shall we have a seat and begin our discussion?"

I was a little amused at the plastic seats in the waiting room because they had an opening in the back. It appeared as though they were built to accommodate Gordag's tail. He sat down in one and the Premier sat opposite him. I sat next to Gordag. The bodyguards and police remained standing.

"Mr. Premier, Gordag has come from a planet many light years away. However, thousands of years ago his people lived on the Earth. There was a great catastrophe which destroyed the dinosaurs. His people belonged to an intelligent race that lived in what is now northern Alberta. When the catastrophe hit, a few of his people managed to escape, but all the others died. They were buried like all the dinosaurs and other animals and vegetation.

"The ones that escaped settled on the planet Gragg. In time, they discovered DNA and a method of cloning their own people from DNA samples. Because their gene pool is so small, they need to find some way to increase it. That's when they remembered those who were not so fortunate and had died in the great catastrophe. If they could recover their DNA, it would enhance their gene pool.

"The problem is that the remains of these people is located somewhere in the oil sands north of Fort McMurray. We would like your authorization to take samples from a variety of places to locate the lost DNA."

The Premier was patient throughout my recounting of Gordag's history. He said, "If I gave you that authority and you discovered the DNA, what would you do?"

"Gordag told me that he would fill his ship with the bitumen. His ship would hold about 200,000 barrels."

"We cannot just let Gordag have that oil. There would have to be consultation with Syncrude and there would have to be some remuneration. What does Gordag offer?"

"From what I understand, Gordag does not use money. Even if he did, I doubt if his money would have any value here."

I turned to Gordag, "If the Premier let you have the crude oil, what would you give in exchange for it?"

"Give I nothing. Belong grude oil Neffel."

"He says that the oil belongs to his people of Neffel. He is taking what is his already."

"Yes," said the Premier, "I think I understand what he was saying. It may be true that it once belonged to the people of Neffel, but it was abandoned and has now been claimed by us. Therefore it belongs to us. If he wants it, he must pay for it."

"Gordag, I explained to you before that when an exchange is made, one party must give something of value to the other to compensate. What can you give?"

"No decide I now. Whad wand you for oil?"

The Premier didn't need me to translate. "That is a good question. I will have to meet with my people and Syncrude to determine a suitable payment."

"Meed I with my beoble also. Find I DNA firsd, then decide."

"Mr. Premier, do we have your permission to explore the oil sands for the lost DNA?"

"I will need to clear it with Syncrude first."

"Can you contact them now? The longer we delay, the more Syncrude might remove crucial DNA."

"Let me be frank with you, Bobby. The government is not convinced that Gordag's intentions are as simple as that. What assurances do we have that he will not unleash some weapon on us or introduce a plague to wipe us out? You may be convinced of his good intentions, but how long have you really known him?"

"What would it take to prove Gordag's good intentions?" I asked.

"Perhaps he could remove the force field around his ship. That would be a start."

"Gordag, would you remove the gadmed around the ship?"

"No remove gadmed. Mage I smaller."

"He won't remove it, obviously for safety reasons; but he will reduce its parameters. I think that will permit traffic on highway 11."

"Gordag, can you reduce the force field from here?" asked the Premier.

"No. Go I bag do shib and reduce gadmed."

"Once the force field is reduced and we have confirmation from the police in that area, then I will talk to Syncrude about your request."

"That is agreeable to us, sir. Is there some way we can call you directly if we need to meet further?"

The Premier gave me a private number and I gave him my land line and cell phone. He wrote them down, and I saw a bodyguard doing the same.

"It has been a pleasure meeting you Gordag Neffel and you too Mr. Marchuk. I wasn't sure what to expect in meeting you both. I appreciate that you have approached first contact in a diplomatic way." He shook hands first with Gordag, and then with me.

"Meed we again, Misder Premier Sdelmag."

Before I could express my pleasure in meeting the Premier, a cell phone rang. One of the bodyguards answered it and gave it to the Premier. He talked for a few minutes and then turned to me. "Bobby, your wife has been kidnapped."

CHAPTER ELEVEN

The thief who steals your goods does not return
To ask for more, exchanging what he stole;
But he who steals a person dear to you
Has also taken more, your very soul.

After we had left the house for the airport, Boodub and Liz worked in the kitchen preparing some food. Liz was still in her housecoat. I had showered previously, but Liz had not. So Liz excused herself and gathered up the clothes that she wanted to wear for the day and went into the bathroom, showered, dressed, and came out.

Immediately she was grabbed by two big men. She struggled against them and called out to Boodub. But before she could come to Liz's rescue, they took her out the door and into a waiting vehicle.

One of the other features of a gadmed is that it can be used to locate another gadmed. Boodub was directed to the bathroom where Liz had laid down her gadmed before getting into the shower. Once the gadmed had been removed, the protection around the house was gone and so was her own personal protection. She had apparently forgotten to put it back on.

A few minutes later the police received a call from someone claiming to have kidnapped Liz Marchuk. Their demands were simple. She would be released as soon as it was demonstrated that the aliens were dead and the space ship was in the hands of the Canadian government.

They did not ask for money which led the authorities to believe that the kidnappers were idealistic fanatics. Boodub left the house in pursuit of the kidnappers, but she had no way of locating them. As soon as she went out the door, the crowd parted for her. Some were trying to be helpful by pointing the direction the kidnappers had taken. Others were just pointing at her. And still other were pointing in the opposite direction. Cameras were clicking. Reporters tried to jam their microphones into the mouth of Boodub, but her gadmed pushed them back and protected her from the curiosity and antagonism of others.

One of the interesting things about the Neffel is that they had never developed radio or telephones. Boodub had no way of communicating with Gordag. However, Boodub was not hindered by the lack of ingenuity. She spotted someone in the crowd using a cell phone. She reached out and snatched it from him. Then she brought it into her force field.

Although I had not shown her how to use one because my instruction on its operation was given to Gordag. However, she had observed Gordag's use of it. Immediately she phoned my cell phone. It rang minutes after the Premier had received his call.

As soon as I realized it was Boodub, who was speaking too fast for me to catch all the words, I transferred the phone to Gordag who spoke to Boodub in their own language.

"Go we," said Gordag as soon as he hung up.

"Sir," I said to the Premier, "If there is anything you can do to find my wife, I would very much appreciate it. But right now Gordag and I must go to his wife who is at my house. I don't know if her safety is at risk, too."

I shook hands with the Premier and Gordag did likewise.

We went out of the terminal and walked to the norzla. I could see that the soldiers were on alert with their guns in readiness. We sat down on the norzla and immediately it went straight up. I wondered what those on the ground thought when they saw a flying couch.

In moments we were back at my house. Boodub had gone back into the house. She is no thief. She had returned the cell phone to the guy from whom she had borrowed it. Since she was wearing Liz's gadmed as well as her own, the house was protected by the double gadmed.

Our land line phone rang. A husky voice said, "Is this Marchuk? We have your wife. The government has been notified of our demands or else your wife dies."

"Let me talk to my wife to prove you have her and that you are not just a copycat prankster."

In a moment I heard her voice, "Bobby, I'm okay. I'm sorry I left the ookbay behind."

"What a smart girl," I thought. Just a little clue was what I needed.

"Just stay calm dear. We'll do all we can."

The husky voice returned, "Your wife is safe as long as you comply. You have eight hours." Then he hung up. I repeated to Gordag what Liz said. He said, "No equal gadmed oogbay."

"No, but ookbay is pig-latin for book.' There are only three places where she shops for books. It could refer to the library, Chapters Book Store, or a used bookstore downtown. There are too many people in the library and Chapters. But next door to the used bookstore is an old apartment block. My guess is that is where she is being held. Gordag, we can fly the norzla to the roof of that building. but how will we find her in there?"

"Use we ha-abrogen," said Gordag which he explained was the rifle that he carried when I first met him. Apparently it can paralyze people or animals for up to an hour depending on the setting. It can penetrate brick and mortar. However it can be used only in a lateral direction, not vertically. Therefore, we could use it only on one floor at a time.

"Does it hurt when someone is paralyzed by the ha-abrogen?"

"No hurd ha-abrogen they."

"If they were standing when they were paralyzed, they could fall and hurt themselves. There are a lot of other people in that building and I wouldn't want to injure any of them."

"If sid they, sid they; if sdand they, sdand they."

"You mean they are frozen in the spot where they are? So if they are sitting, they stay sitting; and if standing, they stay standing."

"Yes."

"Okay, let's get the ha-abrogen." Gordag gave Boodub a dro-med in exchange for Liz's gadmed so that Boodub could protect the house. A gadmed and dro-med is not as strong as two gadmeds, but was sufficient for guarding the house, but not the yard as well.

Gordag and I left on the norzla back to the ship. Inside, he opened a cabinet and handed me a ha-abrogen and took one for himself. There was no trigger. Instead you squeeze the grip. It could be used as a single shot or sprayed in a circle. There was a slide switch on the side which manipulated the length of time that the person would be paralyzed. Every time you stopped shooting, you had to reset the time switch, because it would go back down to its shortest duration which was about 30 seconds. It was a safety feature so that you didn't freeze someone for an hour when you forgot to reset it for a shorter time. If you hit someone for 30 seconds and then realized you needed more time, you could readjust the switch and shoot him again. But once a person was frozen, you couldn't unfreeze him before the time was up.

Immediately we got back on the norzla and flew to the roof of the building next to the used bookstore. I hoped I had understood Liz's clue correctly. We now had only seven and a half hours left to find her. The norzla doesn't make any noise when it lands, so if the kidnappers were on the top floor of this six-story building, they would not have heard us. I tried the door which led to the inside of the building, but it was locked. I walked to the edge of the building trying to see where the fire escape stairs were. They should have been at the back leading to the alley, but they were off to one side. I waved to Gordag and we climbed down to the first landing of the sixth floor. Gordag sprayed that level. Fortunately the window by the landing was partially open. I lifted it a few more centimetres and wriggled in. I motioned for Gordag to come in, but his head would not make it through the opening.

"Go you. Find you Liz," said Gordag as he gave me Liz's gadmed.

There was no one in the room I entered, it was a bedroom. When I entered the living room, three people were watching television. Liz was not one of them. I went out of that apartment and realized that each floor had two apartments one on either side of the hall. In the second apartment a man stood with the door partly open as though he were about to go in. A key fob hung from the lock with a number of keys dangling from it. To the side of the door, just behind the frozen man I saw a sign: "manager." I was in luck. I guessed that the key ring held keys to all the apartments.

I pulled the key out and examined the ring. There was no way to tell which key belonged to which apartment. The manager's key was closest to the key fob on one side, so I could eliminate it when I tried each lock.

Although there was an elevator, I didn't trust using it for fear it might alert the kidnappers. I opened the door that led to the inside stairway. As silently as I could I went down to the next floor. I wasn't sure how long Gordag set his ha-abrogen, but I wasn't going to take any chances so I set it to maximum and sprayed both apartments. I fumbled with the keys trying one after the other in the lock of the first apartment. There was no one inside.

I went to the other apartment. It appeared that there was no one, but there was noise in the bathroom. I checked and there was a woman taking a shower. She was frozen in place, but the water kept running. When her hour is up, she will get a good cleaning, I thought.

Okay, down to the fourth floor. An old man was watching TV in the first apartment and no one was in the other.

When I got to the third floor, I sprayed it too. However, I forgot to set it to one hour. There was no one home in the first apartment. But in the second there were two men and someone sitting in a kitchen chair facing away from me. As soon as I entered the apartment, the freezing wore off. The two guys spotted me right away and the first one had a gun in his hand and fired a shot at me. I flinched and nearly dropped the ha-abrogen. The bullet hit the force field and fell to the floor.

The second guy grabbed the person in the chair and it was Liz. He held her in a choke hold.

"Take one step or fire your rifle and I break her neck. Drop the gun."

"Okay, take it easy," I said as I began lowering the ha-abrogen. The keys were in my left hand and I threw them to the left. I saw his eyes follow the keys and I squeezed the engagement on the ha-abrogen and both he and Liz were frozen. Then I turned to the kidnapper who had fired at me and froze him too. I changed the setting on the ha-abrogen to one hour and froze him again. I went to the guy who held Liz in a choke hold and tried to pry him away from Liz without success. So I slipped the gadmed on Liz's wrist hoping it would help a little. Then I zapped them for another 30 seconds.

In a few seconds the first zapping expired and the kidnapper popped away from Liz. She was unaffected by the ha-abrogen's second charge, but the kidnapper was still frozen.

"Oh, Bobby! Thank you. You saved my life." As Liz came toward me, I motioned her aside.

"Just wait a moment, dear. I'm going to zap him again." I reset the ha-abrogen for maximum and froze him.

Liz's arms were around my neck. She obviously had set her gadmed to accept me. After a few kisses and other endearments, I pulled out my cell phone and dialed 911. I gave the operator the address of the kidnappers and told them to get over here as quickly as possible. I debated with myself whether I should give them another zapping. I set the ha-abrogen for half strength and zapped them both. The one guy was frozen with a gun in his hand and the other looked as though his arms were around something. If the police arrived with the guy pointing a gun at them, he might get shot. I couldn't remove the gun.

That's when a little mischievous thought came to me. I pushed the gunman toward the other guy so that they were wrapped up together. Then I pushed them over to the couch and with the help of Liz we laid them on top of each other. I would have liked to stick around when they thawed out, but I needed to get Liz out of there.

I tried to reach the fire escape but the door to it was locked and I had thrown the keys away. So we went down the stairs and out the front door. From there we went around to the side of the building. I looked up and saw Gordag on the landing where I had left him.

"Gordag, I have Liz. Bring the norzla down here."

He went back up to the roof and in a moment he was down to ground level. I think I had mentioned that the norzla is a two-seater and now there were three of us. Fortunately Liz is slim and she was a little more clingy than usual. Liz sat between the two of us. It was a tight fit, but I didn't care. It was the first trip for Liz on a norzla.

"You are my hero," she said. I knew I was going to get a lot of mileage out of that later tonight.

"Gordag helped too. He gave me the ha-abrogen that froze those guys."

"Thank you Gordon. You are a good friend to Bobby and me."

"Helb Bobbee me find DNA."

CHAPTER TWELVE

To find the object lost, you ask yourself
Just where you last beheld your treasured prize.
You isolate the field to make your search;
And yet upon success it's still: surprise!

We were back at the ship. Gordag dropped us off there and Gordag left to get Boodub. The entrance to the ship opened and I escorted Liz into the ship. Doffag appeared and I introduced her to Liz explaining that she was also Gordag's wife. Doffag played the hostess offering us a drink of mabnooz. In moments Gordag returned with Boodub.

"No equal safe your house," said Gordag. "Stay you with us."

"What will we eat, Gordon? And where will we sleep? We are not going to put you out are we? We will need a change of clothes. And there is all my makeup." Turning to me, she said, "Bobby, this just won't work at all."

"Gordag, there are a number of supplies that we will need if we are going to stay the night with you," I said.

"Bring Boodub your subblies for many days. Go we do Gragg soon." Gordag escorted us into a room I had not seen before. In it was everything from our bedroom including the bed, dressers, nightstand, and closets with their contents. As well there was our toilet in one corner, beside it was a basin on a stand and a shower stall. Both of them were extracted from our basement bathroom. I wasn't sure if they were hooked up and I thought I might have a lot of plumbing work ahead of me.

Even my helmet and bike shoes were on the floor of the closet along with Liz's many pairs of shoes.

"Well, dear," I said, "it looks like all the essentials are here including your Avon supplies." I pointed to a couple of Avon boxes.

"Those boxes are full of bottles of Avon Bubble Bath," she said.

By now it was close to noon. Doffag invited us for lunch. The experience was much the same as before except some of the food was different. I knew how to operate the gadmed to get my food into the dinner boxes. Liz was a little confused, but not for long.

"Daphne, this dinner is delightful," Liz said. She was bound and determined to give the Neffel familiar names.

After we ate, Doffag brought out the box-cups with their contents. I expected more mabnooz. Imagine my surprise when it turned out to be coffee. I doctored mine with some sugar. The other three took both sugar and powdered cream.

"If we are all going to Gragg, we will need a lot more coffee than what we had in the house. Also, we are going to need some toilet paper and few other supplies," I said. "It is also going to take some work to get the plumbing working for the toilet and shower."

"Used Boodub gadmed. Fixed she your blumbing." During the time that Liz was kidnapped, Boodub had rounded up all the things she thought we might need. I was glad I didn't have to use Gordag's toilet system again.

"Thank you Gordon. If you will excuse me, I need to freshen up," said Liz as she tried to go into our room. "How do I open the door?" she asked. Gordag gave us both a lesson on using the gadmed for opening and closing doors. Then she went into our room.

"I think I had better make a couple of phone calls. But first we need to reduce the strength of the gadmed around this ship so that the highway can be used again."

"Done I reduce."

"Okay, now let me phone the police." I phoned the RCMP office in Red Deer and informed them that the force field on highway 11 was removed so traffic could resume.

"Now I need to phone the Premier and let him know what happened and see if he has any news from Syncrude."

I dialed the Premier's number and talked for quite a while. He had heard that Liz was rescued, but didn't know the details. I told him what I knew from my perspective. He said that the police had found the two kidnappers in a frozen state. They had been taken into custody and charged with kidnapping. However they needed Liz to make a statement within 24 hours or they would have to let them go for lack of further evidence. He thanked me for getting the force field on highway 11 reduced. As far as Syncrude was concerned, he said, an official had told him that that we could make an inspection of various sites, but we were not allowed to fill the ship with all the bitumen that Gordag wanted. I assured him that our primary purpose was to locate the place that contained the DNA and see if we can get Syncrude to stop processing in that area until we obtain permission to remove what we needed. The Premier promised to communicate our intention to Syncrude. We were given the name and location of the official we needed to contact. We had to wait until Monday morning before we could contact him.

After hanging up, I explained it all to Gordag to his satisfaction. By then, Liz came out of our room with a towel wrapped around her head.

"Honey, where do I plug in the hair dryer?"

"Gordag, do you have electricity for our appliances?" I asked.

"No have we elegdricidy. Use Liz gadmed."

"Gordon, I don't think I can do that. Bonnie, can you help me?" Liz asked, referring to Boodub. The two of them went into our room.

"Gordag, how long will we be living here?" I asked.

"Live you in shib while gedding grude oil sambles, then go we do Gragg. Ged advice from gouncil. Gone we aboud fifdeen days."

"Well if we are going to be gone for two weeks, then we will need a few more supplies than what we have. Maybe Liz and I should go shopping for a few things that we will need," I suggested. "We can drive my car to the city now that the highway is open."

Liz came out looking as beautiful as ever. "Dear, I think we need to get a few more things. Gordag says we may be gone for a couple of weeks. I was just mentioning that you and I should go shopping in Red Deer. My car is parked out on the highway and it is open now."

"Funny, I was just going to suggest the same," Liz said.

As we left the ship, I noticed that there were several cars parked on the shoulder of the highway near my car. People were taking pictures of the ship. I told Liz to walk backward toward the road and pretend we were taking pictures. We blended into the crowd and got into the wagon and drove off.

At the supermarket, we divided up the task, I filled my cart with toilet paper, tissues, paper towels, deodorant, coffee, sugar, powdered cream, batteries (AA and AAA), fig bars, and a few snacks. Liz got some feminine supplies, laundry stuff, and other things that she thought we might need. We paid for it with plastic, loaded up the car and drove back to the ship. On the way, I called Gordag on the cell phone. I know you are not supposed to drive and talk on the cell phone, but I was doing it anyway.

"Gordag, when we get to the ship there is going to be a lot of cars there with sightseers. It is going to be difficult unloading all this stuff into the ship without their noticing."

"No worry you. Bark you the gar on the road. Solve I the broblem."

When we arrived near the ship we were on the opposite side of the road from the ship. There were several cars there with people walking across snapping pictures. As soon as I turned off the engine, I saw the road and the other cars shimmer and disappear. In the next moment we were inside the ship, car and all. I thought, "Well there's my transportation when we get to Gragg. I'll be the envy of every Neffel in my rusty Taurus." We were in another part of the ship which I discovered was just off our room. In it was also my road and mountain bicycles. We called that room the garage. We left most of the stuff in the car. I got one of those "looks" from Liz when she saw some of the snacks I had bought.

Liz spent much of the afternoon rearranging the bedroom, hanging clothes, and adding the feminine touch. I worked on a portable radio. It is normally battery-powered, but I didn't have any D-cell batteries for it. I tried to get the gadmed to activate it with marginal success.

"Gordag, are there batteries for the gadmed?" I asked. I had been curious about how this thing was powered.

"Whad equal badderies?"

I showed him an AA battery that I picked up from the store. "It produces electricity when you connect a wire between each end of it and it makes a light bulb glow."

Gordag took an interest in the battery and gave one to Boodub who took it into the lab. He explained that the gadmed has many very small wires which flex and generate an electric charge. The flexing action can come from a person's heartbeat or even the movement of a person's hand. The pattern and complexity of the wires turns the bracelet into a dro-med or gadmed. The gadmed also uses the person's brain-wave for controlling its function. I remember reading that Honda was developing a brain-wave controller for the servo-mechanism of robot or mechanical device. But the sophistication developed by a gadmed was centuries ahead of Honda. It was really no wonder since the Neffel lived so long. In the lifetime of a human being, there is really only a maximum of 50 productive years to pursue an innovation. Even those who follow fail to see the full vision of the person who had the initial idea. But for the Neffel who lived hundreds or even thousands of years, some of these projects could be examined without the urgency of death.

For the rest of the afternoon and evening Liz joined Gordag and his wives discussing life on Gragg and comparing it with society on Earth. On Gragg there are two political perspectives. They are not organized political parties, but they are similar. There are the traditionalists who emphasize the values of the past. The other side are the explorers who want to examine history, science, space exploration. The traditionalists depend on the explorers to gain a true interpretation of history and the explorers depend on the traditionalists who control the government's allocation of labour credit.

Gordag reviewed the procedure of greeting the authorities on Gragg. We would land at the centre of their capital city, Dreben, and meet the council where we would present the situation on Earth. Liz wasn't too happy to hear that as my wife she would have to take a submissive role. Boodub explained that the role was one of appearance only. In actual fact the wives advise their husbands. Even when the council meets, the wives are also present.

As night came, we went to bed anticipating the adventure of Monday morning.

In the morning as we ate, I received a call from the Premier indicating that we had to meet the Syncrude PR rep, Mr. Bill Hilliar in Fort McMurray. Gordag and I flew there and Gordag parked the norzla on the roof of the building and I descended by the fire escape and entered the Syncrude building through the main doors. Gordag stayed with the norzla.

While I waited for Mr. Hilliar, I picked up a brochure showing a map of the various Syncrude lease sites. Mr. Hilliar came out of his office with his hand stuck out as though he were directing traffic. I shook hands with him and he ushered me into his office. He seemed friendly, but he was firm that he would not lend us any vehicles to travel to the sites. I explained that we had our own vehicle. I remember that he laughed saying that only special vehicles could travel in that area. He thought we had come in our car. He gave me a special badge to identify me as an authorized visitor. I asked for a second one for Gordag who, I explained, was waiting for me in our vehicle. Then I had a final request, "Do you have a dozen empty four-liter jugs for our samples?"

"You mean you come here wanting samples and you don't even have empty containers? That takes the cake. If it wasn't a request from Stelmach, I'd think you guys were a couple of pranksters. All right, hang on a moment." Hilliar dialed a three-digit number, "Hank, I'm sending a guy down to see you in shipping. He needs a dozen empty jugs. Yeah give him the ones without the labels ... should be in two boxes. If he's strong enough he can carry them out by himself."

Hilliar directed me to the shipping department and I met with Hank, a big guy who gave me the two large boxes. It wasn't that they were heavy, they were awkward. "Sorry I can't give you a hand, kid. I'm too busy. You can go out this way." He clicked the switch that opened the overhead receiving door. I would have had to make two trips and I wasn't convinced he would let me back in that door. Then I remembered I still had my gadmed. With one hand it appeared as though I lifted the two boxes like the pizza delivery boy does. Hank's mouth dropped open. "This is no problem for me," I said, "thanks a lot, Hank."

I climbed the fire escape stairs and rejoined Gordag. We opened the boxes. There was an expandable compartment at the back of the norzla where we placed the empty jugs. For the next few hours we flew from one spot to another taking samples and marking the jugs with their location. Only once were we stopped. A man in a dredging truck yelled at us and a couple of others approached telling us to get out of there. I yelled back saying I had authorization, but they were insistent that we leave.

We didn't bring along a ha-abrogen because our gadmed would protect us. It was Gordag's ability with his gadmed that helped in securing the samples. He could remove only the bitumen without the sand and fill the jug with the bitumen. My task was to identify the precise location and mark the jugs. When we finished, it was about two o'clock and I was getting a little hungry.

"Gordag, how would you like a burger before we head back?"

"Whad burger?"

"It is some food, I'm a little hungry, aren't you?"

"Yes."

"There is some golden arches at the south end of Fort McMurray and it's a drive through." I directed Gordag to the McDonald's restaurant and we waited on our "couch" behind a line of half-tons. I didn't spot a single car in the whole line. When it came our turn, I ordered a couple of combos for us. I wasn't sure if Cokes were okay. I was on the left side as I mentioned before, so when we reached the window, the gal said, "Where's the rest of your truck?"

"This is a new invisible truck. How do you like it?" I answered as I gave her my money.

"If all you can see is the seat, then I think it is dumb." She handed me the bag with our food and Gordag took the norzla straight up. I would have like to have see the look on those who saw us go. I pointed out a clearing and we dropped down to eat our meal. The burger and fries met with Gordag's approval, but the Coke did not. He choked on it and pronounced it a vile drink.

"Ged you goffee for me."

I spotted a Tim Hortons near the McDonalds and we landed near it. The lineup there was full as usual. I decided to walk in, waited in line, and when served, ordered a large double-double. That's double cream and double sugar. I gave it to Gordag. In the past, when Gordag had coffee, it had been only a cup of it. Here I was giving him at least two cups, if not more. I wondered what that much caffeine might do to his system. I was to find out on the trip back.

Gordag had difficulty taking off. He flew as though he were drunk. His speech was slurred more than usual. The norzla wobbled and I feared that we might lose the samples we had collected. My gadmed kept me caged in place, but at times we were at a forty-five degree angle with one or the other of us in the upper side. I think I mentioned that I have a fear of heights. This ride back to the ship did nothing to allay that fear.

When we arrived back at the ship, we unloaded the samples. Gordag's two wives took the samples into the lab, but Gordag was agitated and stomped around the "living room" shouting and grunting. He was unsteady and finally flopped onto one of the couches.

"Is Gordon drunk?" asked my wife.

"I'm not sure. We had something to eat: burgers and fries. Then he wanted some coffee so I got him a double-double at Timmy's. I think there was more caffeine in it than he is used to."

"We've already had something to eat. Thanks for asking," Liz said with a smile.

"Sorry. I guess we should have brought something for you three as well."

While we were exchanging "pleasantries," Boodub came in excitedly. She said something in her language and then said, "Found we the DNA!" Apparently only one sample had it. When I compared the notes on the jug with my map, I saw that the sample had been taken from Aurora, Lease 12 on the east bank of the MacKenzie river, about 35 or 40 kilometres north of Syncrude's existing plant.

I called the Premier and told him that we had isolated the place where the Neffel's DNA was located. He expressed some interest, but then dropped a bombshell. "I've had further conversation with Syncrude and Suncor. They expressed appreciation for the situation of the Neffel people, but they will not release any significant amount of bitumen from the oil sands. If they give you two hundred barrels today, what guarantees can they expect that you will milk the entire site?"

"Can you hold on a moment," I asked, "I need to let Gordag know of your decision?"

I think Gordag was prepared for this eventuality. I returned to the phone, "Mr. Premier, Gordag tells me that he will return to his planet with your decision and inform the governing authority there. He has the following ultimatum for you. If we do not get the bitumen from the site we have located, he will remove all the oil from the whole world."

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

How will they listen when their minds are walled
Against the best defense within your bag?
Your clapping hands display an empty threat
Before the councilmen of Dreben Gragg.

It was morning at Dreben, that great city of Gragg, when we arrived. The rays of the newly risen sun caused the buildings to glow in golden splendor. Gordag and I led the way out of the ship side by side. I was dressed in a black suit which I normally wore to funerals, white shirt, emerald green tie, black socks and shoes. Gordag recommended the colour of the tie indicating that green is one of the favoured colours. Gordag had changed into an entirely different outfit abandoning the coverall that had kept him warm on Earth. He wore a green tunic and a short black cape; his arms were bare. He wore a side-arm holster with a short barreled ha-abrogen and a brown pair of shorts. His black boots reached up almost to his knees.

Liz walked behind me in a full-length emerald green gown. She wore her hair in a pony tail tied with a matching green ribbon. On her feet were a pair of black patent heels. Doffag and Boodub followed behind Gordag in single file. They wore almost the same outfit as Gordag without the holster and ha-abrogen. Their capes were green.

Blue-robed foot-soldiers lined either side of the wide avenue with their long-barreled ha-abrogen drawn. In the intersections there were what I thought at first were horse-mounted soldiers, but on further inspection saw that each soldier rode a large lizard. There were several rows of them preventing traffic from entering the avenue. The crowds of the Neffel people watching our procession filled the second story parapets of the buildings that flanked the street.

Ahead of us, at the end of the avenue, were two large pillars supporting a closed gate. We stopped in front of it and Gordag slowly removed his weapon. As soon as he touched the ha-abrogen, the soldiers aimed their weapons at us. A young Neffel approached with a brown rectangular box with a red pillow inside. Gordag placed his weapon on the pillow and the youngster took the box away.

The gates opened by the action of someone's gadmed and we passed through. In front of us loomed a huge building with wide steps leading up to its entrance. At the top of the stairs stood three Neffels dressed in white.

We stopped at the foot of the stairs and Gordag called out in his language. The Neffels in white responded in unison.

Gordag turned to me and said, "Sday you here."

Then he walked up the stairs. In front of the white-robbed Neffels he clapped his hands four times. They did likewise. Gordag turned to us and called out, "Gome you now."

The four of us proceeded up the stairs. Doffag and Boodub went ahead of us. At the top, they clapped their hands four times and stood behind Gordag. When we reached the top, Gordag spoke his language and I heard my name. Then I clapped four times. After Liz was introduced, she clapped likewise.

Only then were we allowed to enter the building itself. We followed the three white-robed Neffels. After the brightness outside, the interior seemed almost dark, only two rays of sunshine streaming from two rectangular slots in the roof far above fell upon the floor. It took a moment for my eyes to adjust. Along the back of the wall was a raised platform where twelve Neffels sat. Gordag had previously told us that this was the governing council. The wives of the councilors sat on raised seats behind them. To the left and right of us was a guard of two hundred. As we stood there, the three white-robed Neffels made their way to the front and spoke loudly to the council and I heard our names mentioned.

Gordag approached the council, clapped his hands four times, and responded to them. Then he called me forward. I stood beside Gordag and clapped my hands four times. Gordag's two wives and Liz walked forward and clapped. I heard Liz's claps behind me. When they spoke, Gordag translated for me and returned my response to the council. "Why gome you do Gragg?"

"I have come as the ambassador of Earth to negotiate the removal of the ancient DNA of your people."

"No need we negotiations or bermission do obdain whad is righdfully ours."

"We admit that the DNA was originally yours, but since you abandoned it for many centuries and did not lay claim to it until now, it is considered open for anyone who may take it."

At this statement, all the council members stamped their feet three times. I hadn't seen that response since Gordag did it the first day we met.

"If had abandoned we an inanimade objecd, would have your argumend valididy; bud are speaking we of a living being one of our own."

"Once we knew that you were searching for the remains of your species, we understood your plight. We do not desecrate the remains of our own species and thus we respect yours as well. However there are those who have been mining the remains of all those who once lived on the Earth before the great catastrophe. Their remains have provided fuel for heating our homes and moving our machinery. Those who mine them cannot distinguish between the remains of the dinosaurs and those of your people. The oil of their bodies crushed under great pressure and time have become very valuable to us. Therefore the authorities on Earth have refused to allow you to remove the remains of your ancestors."

Again they stamped their feet. "Found you how much remains?"

"The remains of your species is found in an area called Aurora lease number twelve where there is estimated to be about 315 billion barrels of bitumen." I explained to Gordag that his ship could hold about 200,000 barrels of bitumen, so it would fill his ship one and a half million times.

I couldn't always tell who was asking each question. After this last exchange, the councilors conferred among themselves. Their wives leaned over their shoulders and offered their advice. Then the councilman in the middle of the group rose to his feet and said, "Will dake we all 315 billion barrels from Aurora number dwelve and will dake we all the oil from the whole Earth. No will have you oil for your machines."

"I can understand that you want to retaliate for our stubbornness, but that action would reduce us to an agrarian society. We do have other means of fuel, but they are very dangerous. They have been used as weapons so destructive that they could level entire cities. If you were to take away all our oil, we might be forced to use these destructive weapons against you. Instead, we want to be your friends. I understand that in ancient days, your people and ours used to trade. Is there some way in which that trade can be restored? It is your history and ours." I was appealing to the traditionalist party hoping that they would see the necessity of re-establishing the past standards.

"Equal your argumend habby."

"There are many things that our machines can bring to your society. We have communication devices which allow a person at his home to talk to someone on the other side of the planet without leaving home. Another device allows a person to travel from one place to another along the road without using an animal to carry him. It can be propelled by a motor or by rotating pedals. I have even brought two types with me." I was thinking of the car and my bicycle. "In this way, those who do not have a gadmed can journey much faster and easier than walking."

"Will consider we your position and give our answer domorrow."

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

On every world where men and beasts may live
There is one solid rule which is the crunch
Of philosophy truth experienced.
In simple words it's: "There ain't no free lunch."

With the council's final statement we were dismissed. The council and their wives left first through a doorway behind the platform. The two hundred guards remained where they were. Gordag led us out the door through which we entered.

When we reached the gate, it was swung open to permit our exit. The young Neffel who had taken Gordag's weapon returned. I can't be sure it was the same youngster for they all look alike. But he did bring the box containing the ha-abrogen which Gordag inserted back into his holster. As we walked back to the ship, the soldiers along the avenue continued to hold back the crowd. No sooner did we enter the ship than the soldiers dispersed. Normal activities were resumed on the street.

It was close to mid-day, so we ate together. Gordag and his wives indicated that they would return to their home. We were invited to stay there, but they apologized that it did not have the conveniences that were installed in our room on the ship. We opted to use the ship as our temporary home. I knew how to operate the doors, so I could go in and out. Before Gordag left, his wives gave Liz further instructions about the food in the kitchen, so she had a pretty good idea how to work the kitchen.

Liz was in her element wanting to experiment with the food. As for me, I was anxious to do a little exploring on Gragg. I thought being on another planet the gravity would be different and that there would be a different colour to the sun, but I was disappointed. They were almost the same as on Earth. At least I couldn't tell any difference. I told Liz I was going for a walk and that I would be in touch with the cell phone. Boy was that a dumb statement. Cell phones don't work on Gragg. Ha, imagine the roaming charge if they did. But I took the phone anyway.

After leaving the ship, I walked down the avenue and turned left at the first intersection. I was given a wide berth by others. The dinosaurs dropped their feces wherever they wanted or needed. There were cleanup crews everywhere, but it seemed like a losing proposition. They shoveled the stuff into a rectangular box which was roped to a smaller dinosaur and the box was dragged along. Even this small dinosaur added to mess on the road. Everywhere I looked there were no wheels.

Before we arrived on Gragg, I realized that the roadway would not paved with asphalt as we do back home, since there was no petroleum products on this planet. I thought the road might be dirt, gravel, or cobblestone. Instead, the road was paved with cement. Forward traffic kept to the left side of the road. The British and Australians would find adjustment easy. I thought I might have trouble remembering to keep to the left, but no one was going much faster than a steady jog. Most of them were walking at the same pace as I was. There were no traffic lights. At intersections, traffic just seemed to merge around each other.

I turned a few corners looking at what seemed interesting. I peered into shop windows and the many stables. All the streets were similar and there were no street signs. After I had walked for about two hours, I was getting thirsty and wished I had taken my bike bottle with me. I turned up another street and entered an open area which looked like a food court. There were tables and chairs in the centre and food stalls on three sides of it. I knew a couple of words but not nearly enough to order food. Also, I could not read their menu. I approached one stall and said, "Mabnooz?" and pointed to my mouth and patted my stomach.

Sign language worked well, I was handed a box with the mabnooz liquid. I drank it and handed back the container. Immediately I was approached by a Neffel who was demanding payment. Foolishly I had forgotten to negotiate with Gordag about how I would pay for anything. This Neffel was obviously a teller who kept pointing at my chest.

"Bobby Marchuk," I said. "I am Gordag Neffel's friend."

The teller looked at his records and called for two other tellers. They looked at their records. I could have told them I was not in their files.

Suddenly they grabbed my arms and hustled me off. I would have activated the gadmed on resistance, but I hoped they would take me back to the ship or even to Gordag's home to get payment. Instead they took me to another Neffel who was shoveling manure into a box behind a small dinosaur. There was a second shovel in the box and they handed it to me. I got the idea right away. I had to work for the mabnooz I drank. At first I thought I would claim diplomatic immunity, but I realized that any protestation would fall on deaf ears.

I was still wearing my black suit and green tie. Surely the tellers were aware that I was the ambassador from Earth who had the audience with the council in the morning. I gave up trying to explain my situation and resigned myself to doing a little shoveling. Mabnooz must be an expensive drink or else shoveling manure isn't a high paying job. I worked with my partner shoveling manure up and down the streets. I tried to talk to him, but he just grunted and whistled. I tried to find out his name, but to no avail.

After a couple of hours my partner put his shovel back into the box and motioned for me to do likewise. After he sat down under the shade of some trees that grew along the side of the road, he pulled out a bag from one of his pockets. Inside were several long flat blue fruit. My mouth watered at the sight since I had not eaten since noon except for the drink of mabnooz and now it was about five in the afternoon. He offered one to me, but I was afraid a teller might show up and ask me to work another day shoveling manure. I reached into my pocket and pulled out a ball-point pen and gave it to him in exchange for the fruit. The pen was a novel item which confused him at first. I showed him how to click the end to protrude the refill and he wrote on the fruit bag. It seemed that the pen was of more value than the fruit because he gave me a second fruit. It hit the spot, of course, tasting like a cross between a pear and a banana. The centre of it had a small pit which I threw into the manure box.

After eating, we both got up and "tinkled" in the woods. I could have done it in the street since the dinosaurs were doing that too, but my bashful bladder would have refused to empty.

Once our "coffee break" was over, we retrieved our shovels and my partner pointed to himself saying, "Morwog, Morwog." I imitated him, saying "Bobby."

The interesting thing about Morwog was his left ear. It was split in half. I pointed to his ear and held up two fingers. "How did your ear get cut in half?" I got no response I could understand. Through sign language I gathered that his wife or someone else's wife or maybe some wife's husband had cut it. Then he held up all eight fingers and waved them in front of me. I later learned that Morwog was caught in the act of having sex with a neighbour when the husband came home. The police were called and his punishment was immediate. They cut his ear. Further offences would result in the removal of his fingers one by one. If all eight fingers were removed and he were caught in adultery again, he would be castrated. I was surprised when told about it, that they gave an offender that many chances before the ultimate penalty.

I really didn't mind shoveling manure. I like the physical exercise of working with my hands. The work wasn't overly hard, we just kept walking and shoveling. The temperature was at least thirty degrees Celsius. The smell of manure at that temperature was probably the worst part of it. After a few hours my olefactory nerves became immune to the smell.

We could not speak each other's language, but we did develop a working relationship based on sign language. If I missed a dump, he would call my name and point. I did the same for him. The hardest part was dodging the traffic on the busy streets and seeing a dump of manure in the very place we had just cleaned.

After five hours of shoveling up and down the streets, a teller came and took the shovel out of my hands. My labour was over, but I was even more lost than ever. Through a series of pantomimes, I asked for the direction to the ship. I was about ten blocks away, four one way and six the other. Using the gadmed, I cleaned the manure off my hands and clothing. I could tell that Morwog and the teller were surprised that I had a gadmed. I could have saved my muscles by using the gadmed to move the manure into the bin if my skill with it were a little better. They didn't know that, of course, so I guess my willingness to shovel instead confused them.

When I got back to the ship, I could see that Liz had obviously been worried. She had prepared a meal for us intending to serve it around six, but I didn't show up. The time kept getting later and later. I should point out that in the morning we had set our clocks to what we thought would be eight o'clock on Dreben. I had left the ship about one and drank the mabnooz about three. I made it back to the ship about 8:30, starved and thirsty. Liz had tried the cell phone to no avail. She had no way of locating me or even of contacting Gordag. I explained what happened to me and promised that before I go out again, I would make sure I had some labour credit so this wouldn't happen again. And like Morwog, I'd bring along my own lunch and bike bottle.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

The arrogant demands his sovereign rights
And thinks his shouts will turn you to his way;
But he who gently speaks with softer voice
Will often gain his rights without delay.

The next morning, Gordag and his wives came into the ship and I told them what had happened to me.

"Equal I sorry. Give I you labour credid now."

"It's okay. I learned the value of working for my food." I showed him my hands which had the start of some blisters. Apparently mabnooz is not worth five hours of work. It is worth about ten or fifteen minutes. It was their policy, however, to subject a person with a zero labour credit to five hours or more in order to build up credit.

That morning I decided I would not wear the black suit to hear the verdict of the council. It had a smell of manure and my sweat. I wore my jeans and a black T-shirt with a picture of a flying eagle. Instead of my black dress shoes which had been badly soiled by the manure, I wore my sneakers. I wore nothing in green this time. Liz wore her jeans and a white T-shirt and sneakers. She looks good in a T-shirt. Gordag and his wives wore the same outfit as the previous day. Before we headed out, Boodub took all my manure-stained clothing into the lab.

This time as we left the ship, the soldiers that had lined the street were absent. We walked down the street like all the people were doing. On our previous walk to the council there was no manure on the street, but today Liz and I had to dodge the manure. Gordag and his wives didn't look where they were going yet they never stepped in the manure patties. Apparently their gadmed moved the manure to one side sometimes in front of me so I had to dance a little jig to avoid it. I determined that I really had to learn how to use the gadmed to move manure.

At the gate, which was closed, we waited for a young Neffel to appear with the red-pillow box. In a moment he came and received Gordag's gun. We were allowed to enter as we did before. We walked the stairs and clapped for the three white-robed councilmen then entered.

As we stood in that great hall with the councilmen in front of us and the two hundred soldiers flanking us, I wasn't confident that we would receive a favourable decision. Although I had made a reasonable argument, there is no defense against "might is right." Their use of the gadmed in their ships meant they could out-fly any Earth planes. The force field could deflect any bullet or bomb. In fact they could probably use Earth bombs against us. There was no telling what offensive weapons they might possess.

We stood there about twenty metres in front of the councilmen for quite a long time, much longer than our previous time. Then a doorway to our right opened. Another Neffel entered. He was close to the seated councilmen who spoke to him in subdued tones. I whispered to Gordag, "What are they saying?"

"No can hear I them," Gordag replied.

After a moment, the central councilman called out, "Bobbee Marchug!"

Gordag and I moved forward, our wives followed behind us. We covered more than half the distance when Gordag stopped. I almost didn't notice he had come to a halt and I stopped about a step ahead of him. Liz was parallel with Gordag.

I had previously asked Gordag the name of the central councilman and was surprised to learn that it was "Neffel Neffel" which means "giant of giants" or "chief of chiefs." The other councilmen had "normal" names which Neffel Neffel used to have, but when he became the lead councilman, his name was changed. To help you understand their conversation, I'll dispense with the accent of the councilman.

Neffel Neffel spoke and Gordag translated, "Did you walk the streets of Dreben?"

"Yes, I did."

"Did you obtain mabnooz?"

"Yes, I did. It was very good."

"Why did you obtain it when you did not have labour credit to pay for it?"

"It is true that Gordag had told me that labour credit was required to pay for anything a person might obtain, but I forgot about that."

"Do you obtain things on Earth without paying for them?"

"No, but I have credit on Earth."

"Did the tellers take you to a place of labour?"

"Yes, I worked shoveling manure from the streets."

"Do you know this man?" he said pointing to the person who had previously entered.

I looked at him and recognized his split ear. "Yes, his name is Morwog."

"Morwog tells us that you shoveled as much as he did and that you both worked hard. Yet you were given a gadmed by Gordag. With a gadmed you would not have had to do the labour. Also, you could have claimed political immunity and demanded to be taken to Gordag to clear up your indebtedness. It puzzles us. Why did you shovel?"

"First, it is true I could have claimed political immunity but I chose not to do that. Second, I am not skilled at using a gadmed, but had I attempted it on a few patties, I expect I could have gained the skill. Third, I believe in being honest. I had taken something and had not paid for it. If shoveling manure would pay for the debt then I was willing to do the labour. However, I didn't realize that one drink of mabnooz would cost five hours of labour."

I heard a few of the councilmen and their wives laugh, but Neffel Neffel did not.

"I also want to add," I continued, "that Morwog treated me fairly. He could easily have required that I do all the work, but we worked together in harmony. He is a person of honor in my estimation."

Imagine my surprise when Morwog walked over to the other end of the row of councilmen and sat with them and his wives appeared behind him. I did a quick count. There had been only eleven men before. Morwog was the twelfth. This had been a test. Even Gordag was privy to it. He had deliberately left me with no labour credit. They knew I would purchase something and be unable to pay for it. The teller knew where Morwog was working.

"Hear now our decision. Because you have obeyed our fundamental labour rule and did not abuse the privilege of your gadmed or claim political immunity, but worked as a common labourer, we have decided in your favour."

The test was a compromise between the traditionalists and explorers. As a representative of Earth who was in agreement with Gordag, I was part of the advancement of society which the explorers promoted. My actions in adhering to the oldest tradition of working for one's food put me in good with the traditionalists.

The councilman continued, "We will take only the 200,000 barrels of our DNA bitumen that would fill Gordag's ship. In payment we will pay an equivalent value in gold. However, if Earth does not comply with this transaction, we will remove all the oil nation by nation. It will be transported to the empty planet you call Mars. How much gold will you need?"

I pulled out my Palm pilot and did a quick calculation. Crude oil was selling as high as $80 a barrel although I knew it had dropped and was as low as $50. I took the higher figure. For 200,000 barrels it would cost sixteen million dollars. Gold was about $32,000 per kilo so that meant payment would be about 500 kilograms.

When I explained the amount needed, Neffel Neffel said, "We will pay up to 1000 kilograms because this bitumen is very valuable to us."

"There is one more thing you could pay," I said. When I explained what I also wanted. They were happy to comply.

"We ask," said Neffel Neffel, "that your wife remain on Gragg while you and Gordag go back to Earth."

Liz whispered to me, "I'm not going to use a Neffel toilet while you are away."

"We require the Earth-type facilities for my wife if she remains on Gragg," I said.

"The items in the ship where you stayed have been removed. We will install them wherever you wish."

"Honey," said Liz over my shoulder, "I could stay at Gordon's place, but I understand his wives will be going back to Earth. I don't want to be there alone. If I ran out of food, I don't want to end up shoveling manure."

"Neffel Neffel, my wife does not want to stay in Gordag's home alone. Is it possible that she could stay with Morwog and his wives?"

Morwog's wives whispered something to him and he stood, "Yes, we will accept the wife of Bobby Marchuk."

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

A given word will be fulfilled in truth.
For expectation's built upon a trust.
But when results neglect to come to pass,
That given word is simply turned to dust.

On our trip back to Earth, I was glad I had used the toilet in the room that Morwog had set up for Liz. Otherwise I would have had to use the awkward contraption again. The trip back took less than four hours, so I could easily "hold it."

I was curious about how far apart Gragg and Earth were since we were able to travel the distance so quickly.

"Gordag, how can we travel faster than the speed of light? Our scientists tell us that nothing goes faster than light."

"Exganges gadmed one sbace for another. If dravel we through sbace, no go we fasder than lighd. Locade we a spod near a sdar, then swab gadmed blaces."

"What happens if you exchange space and find you are inside a star or planet or in the path of a comet?"

"Moves gadmed near sdar. No moves gadmed in path of planed or comed on long jumbs."

"If you traveled to Gragg as fast as light, how long would that take?"

"Equal Gragg many thousand years."

"Why does the trip take hours when you could exchange space in seconds?"

"Calculate we small jumb. No equal three gadmed sdrong enough for endire disdance in one jumb."

I had previously learned that the strength of a force field increases when there are more gadmed's working together. Apparently my gadmed was not being used to propel the ship because I had no idea how to direct its power. I wasn't sure how long it took to calculate a jump, but if it took five minutes, then the four hour trip meant nearly fifty jumps. Gordag was not clear on the exact number of light years in the trip, but if "many thousand" meant three or more thousand light years, each jump was about a hundred light years. I later learned that each jump ranged from fifty to a hundred and twenty light years. It varied because the three gadmeds were also involved in other tasks so that its combined strength for travel was not always one hundred percent.

Gordag landed the ship in the same field near Benalto. He set the force field so that it would not affect the traffic on highway 11. I phoned the Premier again to indicate our arrival and the decision of Gragg's council.

"Sir, the decision of the council on Gragg is that all they want is the 200,000 barrels of bitumen located in Aurora, Lease 12. They are willing to pay well for the amount they take."

"I am happy to hear of your safe return to Earth, but there have been some changes since you left. The decision to let the Neffel have the bitumen is no longer in my hands or in the hands of Syncrude. I had contacted our Prime Minister and he notified leaders of other countries. This has become an international issue. All I can tell you at this point is that the United Nations has met and request the presence of you and Gordag."

"When do they want to meet us?"

"I have been instructed to call them the moment you arrive which is what I will do. Then I'll call you back."

"Sir, I want to stress the urgency of the need to recover the bitumen. Tell them we'd like to meet tomorrow."

After I hung up, I informed Gordag. I showed him the location of the UN building in New York. I had never been there, so I was unfamiliar with the details. Apparently the representatives of all member nations had been meeting for the few days we were gone to Gragg.

Within minutes after talking to the Premier, my phone rang. This time it was the Secretary-General of the United Nations.

"Robert Marchuk, we would like to meet with you and the alien as soon as you can. I understand you are in Alberta Canada. How soon could you arrive in New York?"

"Sir, we could be there within a few minutes. I'll need to change into something more appropriate." It seemed as though it was mid-morning in Alberta which meant it would be about noon in New York. "What time do you have in New York?"

"It is 12:17 pm. Could you be here by one o'clock to meet the General Assembly?"

I had asked the time because I had changed my watch when I was on Gragg and I was just guessing the time. "Yes sir, we could be there at one."

I went to get my black suit but realized it was still covered in manure. Boodub came out of the lab with my suit. "Wear you this blag suid?" she asked.

The suit was spotless and neatly pressed. "Thank you Boodub, it's perfect."

As I changed into my suit, I told Gordag, "This is a very formal situation. We will be in the presence of the leaders of nearly two hundred countries. It is like your council, but even bigger. You will need to be in your formal wear. But they won't let you take your gun in there."

"No need I for ha-abrogen."

Once again we used the norzla and jumped to east coast then another jump to Manhattan then to First Avenue and 46th Street. The visitor's entrance was the only entrance I knew about. We parked the norzla on the lawn and engaged the dro-med so that it would not be disturbed. Then we walked into the building. At the information desk, I asked to speak with the Secretary-General. My request was refused.

"Excuse me, but I have an appointment with the General Assembly at one. The person beside me is the delegate from the planet Gragg."

The attendant must have pressed an alarm button because suddenly there were five or six men in uniform surrounding us.

"Sir," said one of them, "you will have to remove your disguise."

"That is not a disguise. He is really from the planet Gragg. We have been invited here by the Secretary-General for a meeting with the General Assembly."

One of the officers was on a communication device. The others had their weapons drawn. I wasn't afraid of their weapons because our gadmed would protect us. For a moment I was a little miffed that we were not accorded the respect we deserved. However, the fault was partly mine for not asking the Secretary-General for the proper entrance. After a few moments, the officer who had been on the phone said, "Sir, we had been expecting you at a different entrance. Please follow me."

He led us through a circuitous path until we arrived in the General Assembly Hall. Gordag and I shook hands with the Secretary-General and a number of the people on the platform. We were asked again our purpose for coming to Earth. I explained that Gordag had come to recover 200,000 barrels of bitumen located in northern Alberta. "The Neffel are willing to pay for the amount they take. While they have the ability to take it without permission, they are honorable people, not thieves."

"We have been discussing your situation," said the Secretary-General. "We need to know what assurance do we have that you will not take more of our petroleum in future trips."

"As I said, the Neffel are honorable people. I have met with their leading council. They assured me that all they want is the 200,000 barrels of bitumen from a particular location."

From throughout the building I could hear people shouting in a variety of languages. Then he said, "We have a consensus among the delegates to refuse your request."

"Sir, I have also been instructed by the government of the planet Gragg that if you refuse our request, the Neffel will remove all the oil from Earth and deposit it on the planet Mars."

"We do not believe that your action is possible. You are both under arrest."

Gordag stamped on the floor four loud thumps. He was very unhappy with their decision. Several officers appeared who tried to grab us. Of course the gadmed would not permit our capture. "Sir, you need to reconsider your decision. We are leaving unmolested and will begin to move your oil to Mars. You have my phone number if you change your mind. Goodbye."

As we walked back outside, the officers fired a few shots at us to no effect. We flew back to the ship on the norzla. Gordag gave some instruction to his two wives. The ship lifted off the ground.

"Where go we?" Gordag asked.

"Well, the strongest nation is the United States. Let's move all the oil out of Texas. That might get them to reconsider."

We flew above the state of Texas and Gordag pulled all the oil out of every known and unexplored pool of oil and sent it in a long stream into space. Then the ship followed the stream directing it toward Mars. The oil filled a deep canyon and became a lake of crude oil.

"Gordag, if the United Nations changes their minds in favour of us, can you bring all that oil back to Earth?"

"Yes. Dransfer we oil in the ground or in danks. No need they bumbing the oil."

"Well, if they relent, we'll be doing them a favour."

We flew back to Earth and hovered over the UN building. I didn't have the phone number for the Secretary-General, so I had to dial information. It took a few tries before I got someone who took me seriously.

"Look out your window and you'll see the ship above you. I need to talk to the Secretary-General."

While we waited, a number of jets were flying around us. I hoped that none of them would take a shot at us not that it would hurt us, but the shells might bounce off us and land on something or someone important below us. Moments later I heard the familiar voice of the Secretary-General.

"Sir, Gordag has removed all the underground oil from the entire state of Texas. You can check with your sources to confirm it. Doubtless a lot of people must have seen the stream of oil that we removed. It is currently on the planet Mars. If we do not have compliance to our request, we will remove the oil from other locations throughout the world. We do not consider this as theft since we are just transferring the oil to a new location. Get yourself a ship and you can recover the oil for yourself. We will not stop you. However if Earth is depleted of all its oil, I imagine it will wreck the economy. All we are asking is for 200,000 barrels of bitumen for which we will pay a fair price. We expect an answer within the hour or we will next remove the oil from the Middle East."

I gave him my cell phone number and hung up.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

A child will play contentedly alone
Until another child's new toy he spies,
And will devise a means to own that toy.
A state will act alike to win that prize.

The Secretary-General said, "Mr. Marchuk, we have re-evaluated your request. The assembly has unanimously decided to give you permission to secure the 200,000 barrels of bitumen with the proviso that you return the oil that was removed from Texas."

"Wait a minute Secretary-General. There are two answers that we need to have. First, we need to address the issue of payment. We want to pay a fair price for the bitumen we take. You have given us permission, but I want to be sure that Syncrude is fully aware that we will be removing the bitumen for a fair price. What price do they want? We are prepared to pay for it in gold.

"Second, once we have the bitumen, we will return the crude oil we left on Mars. Where do you want us to put that oil since it is now out of the ground? Please call me when you have the contact persons for the answer to these two questions."

We flew over to Syncrude's office in Northern Alberta. The jets tried to follow us, but our speed was thousands faster.

I was back on the phone to Mr. Bill Hilliar again. "Mr. Hilliar, I have been in touch with the Secretary-General of the United Nations who considers that the issue of our obtaining the 200,000 barrels of bitumen from Aurora Lease 12 is an international issue. We will take the oil, but we will pay for it at a fair market value. I want you to contact your billing department and determine its value. Please call me when you have that information."

Gordag and I left for Aurora Lease 12 and filled the ship with the bitumen. The process of doing that took only a few minutes. While we waited for the phone to ring, Boodub and Doffag began examining the bitumen for DNA. Doffag came out of the lab with the report, "Made we some exams of bidumen -- good DNA."

When the phone rang, I supposed it would be Hilliar or someone in the accounting office. Instead it was the voice of a heavily accented person. "Am I speaking to Mr. Marchuk?"

"Yes, how can I help you."

"We have heard that you and the alien ship were able to remove all the oil from Texas and deposit it on the surface of Mars. We understand you have a force-field and weapons that disables a person. The technology of the aliens is certainly remarkable. My government is prepared to offer you a great reward for the blueprints of these devices."

"I am sorry, we are not interested in the sale of these devices."

"Look, we can give you any amount of money. Are you interested in women? We can get you a harem of a hundred willing beautiful women. Do you want your own country? We can give you a large country where you can rule as king. There's got to be something that you long for. Rare paintings and gems? We can change your face and body so that you are handsome and muscle-bound. How about fame? We'll make you a famous movie star."

"None of those things interest me. The devices are not for sale at any price. I'm going to hang up. I have an important call coming in."

No sooner did I clicked the "end" button when the phone rang again. "Mr. Marchuk?"

"Yes, how can I help you."

"This is the President of the United States of America. We are impressed by your integrity and honesty. You could easily have taken the bitumen you wanted without asking for permission or making payment. The world needs more men like yourself."

"Thank you, sir"

"I'm calling with regard to the oil that you relocated to Mars. We don't have any storage centre to accommodate all the oil, but we would like all of it back. Is it possible that we could establish a way that certain amounts could be returned to us as we need it?"

"Yes, I think something like that could be arranged."

"Well, to save you the trouble of traveling back and forth to the planet of the aliens and to make it easier for us to get the oil on Mars, perhaps you could show our scientists the devices which allows you to transport the crude oil. Maybe even give us a ship or two. We are also honest people and would be glad to pay the aliens for these ships."

"It is no bother for us to bring the oil back to you. In fact, we can put it into the same pools where we found it if you like. We'd also be glad to tell you where the undiscovered pools were. But we are not prepared to give you the technology of the devices or the ship. I just got off the phone with someone else who promised us untold treasure for the secret to this technology, but we refused him."

"Yes, we had your phone tapped and heard the conversation you had with the previous caller. Since you refused him, we were assured that your loyalties belonged to the West. As you know, your Prime Minister and I are in full agreement on preserving our Western way of life," said the president.

"I expect you are not the only one who has my phoned tapped too and can hear our conversation. I'll tell you and everyone else listening," I said, knowing that my first caller was probably listening in, "that you are not ready for this technology. In the hands of either one of you, the technology would destroy your economy and result in the decline of the human race. We will not give you the technology, however I am prepared to give the Earth a valuable gift from the planet Gragg. We will be going to Gragg momentarily and then returning with this gift. Goodbye."

Once again, as soon as I hung up, the phone rang. "Mr. Marchuk? This is the accounting office of Syncrude. I understand you have removed 200,000 barrels of bitumen. Can I confirm the exact amount you have taken?"

"Thank you for your call. I believe it is about 200,000 barrels. I admit it could be ten or fifteen percent either way. Do you have a price?

"Crude oil has gone up a little right now because of the loss of crude oil in Texas. It had been running around $60 U.S. a barrel, but has now reached nearly a hundred dollars."

"What's a fair price, then?"

"Let's say $95 U.S per barrel. For the amount you have taken, that comes to ... ah ... nineteen million dollars. How did you want to pay for it?"

"I don't think my credit card has enough room. How about some bars of gold? I understand that gold is worth about $32,000 per kilogram or maybe a little more. I figure that should be just less than 600 kilos for the bitumen. How does that strike you?"

"Well, it is a little unusual, but while gold should be acceptable, we have no way of storing it secuely. Is there any way that you can convert it into currency?"

"Certainly. If you can wait a few moments while I exchange the gold." I hung up.

"Gordag, how would you like to take this ship to Switzerland?"

We deposited the gold at a Swiss bank and I drew a certified cheque for nineteen million against the Swiss account. I still had almost fourteen million in the account.

We flew back to Syncrude and presented the cheque for the bitumen. "However, I will need an official receipt for the transaction," I said.

"Th-that should be no pr-problem," he stuttered as he saw Gordag beside me. Some people were terrified of him while others simply accepted his appearance as though he were a man in a costume. At one time I though people who watched and read a lot of science-fiction movies and books would be more accepting of the Neffel, but I could never confirm that idea.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

When all is said and done and lost are found,
The end is just a start to better things.
Two cultures once apart are joined at last
And heaven's holy host breaks forth and sings.

We returned to Gragg and unloaded the bitumen so that the scientists could start work on the DNA to recover many of their "lost" relatives.

Meanwhile I found out the location of Morwog's home which was in another city about a hundred kilometres away. I got the Taurus out of the ship's "garage" and loaded my road bike in the back, remembering to take along all my bike gear. I thought I could drive the distance flying down the road. However, there was heavy traffic along the route with slow moving vehicles and people. At times I could get up some speed, but they were not frequent. I hated to see what the underside of the car might look like with all the manure I was driving on. When I finally arrived, I was exhausted. The distance took nearly seven hours.

When I greeted Morwog, my voice must have carried into the house. I heard Liz cry out, "Bobby!" She came out and gave me a hug and a passionate kiss.

When we went into the house, I explained to her and Morwog the events that took place on Earth.

"Morwog, my shoveling buddy, where do you store all that manure we removed from the streets?" I asked.

Morwog laughed, "Equal you my friend. Sdore we the manure on Blarrad."

"What's Blarrad?"

"Equal Blarrad a barren blaned."

"Do you use the manure for anything?"

"No. Equal manure bad for Gragg."

"I'd like to take some back to Earth as part of the agreement I made with the council."

That evening I slept with a clinging Liz. I slept like a log, but she held me all night. Either my absence had increased her libido or the local food had acted like an aphrodisiac. I didn't complain.

I awoke early in the morning, put on my cycling clothes and removed my bike from the Taurus. I rode slowly around the neighbourhood practicing my skill at using the gadmed to remove manure in front of me. In time, I got pretty good at it. I went out on the highway for a spin before the traffic became congested. Altogether I clocked about thirty kilometres.

When I got back, I put the bike back into the Taurus and made it in time for breakfast. I asked Liz how she was getting along. She explained that there were so many new things to learn, but she had been promoting the merits of Avon bubble bath for those who had only a dro-med since only a gadmed could use the force field to clean something. Liz had apparently brought a case of one litre bottles of bubble bath and had sold them for hours of labour credit. She wanted sufficient credit of her own to be sure that she would never have to shovel manure.

I left Liz behind and drove the Taurus back to the ship. Gordag and I flew to the planet Blarrad and loaded the ship with all the manure it could contain. Then we traveled back to Earth. This manure was my gift to the Earth. It could be used for bio-fuel, but we unloaded it in a barren section of the Sahara desert. We thoroughly mixed the sand and manure together. Then we dumped a load of fresh water over it. There was a lot of seed in the manure, so I knew that in the sun things should germinate.

We contacted the President of the United States and made arrangements to move some of the oil from Mars to some storage tanks in Texas. Since I still had some credit in the Swiss bank account, I bought a few things for the return trip. The Neffel had never invented the wheel. My experience shoveling manure was responsible for my buying a thousand wheelbarrows. I remembered that Gordag and his wives were interested in my bicycle, so I made arrangements with Trek and Cannondale for ten thousand mountain bikes. The Neffel weigh more than the average human, so mountain bikes were a better choice than a road bike. Finally, using Liz's Avon number, I ordered two thousand bottles of Avon bubble bath and went to their office in Quebec to pick them up.

While we were waiting for the fulfilment of these deliveries, I taught Gordag to ride a bicycle. He used my mountain bike. The strength in those short legs of his kept me panting to keep up with him.

* * *

It has been a hundred years since I first became an ambassador. The former deserts throughout the world are now lush forests with many formerly extinct vegetation species from Gragg. The climate on Earth was too cool for some of the dinosaurs, but several extinct animals including the dodo and carrier pigeon were returned to the Earth. The threat of global warming has been put to rest.

Trade among all the planets is brisk with an established exchange rate between labour credit and Earth's currency. Because Canada is the centre of interplanetary trade, its currency is valued much higher than that of other countries. Liz is the most successful Avon representative in the galaxy.

I learned that the Bible spoke of the Neffel in a passage in Genesis before the great flood. "There were giants [Hebrew: Nephilim] on the earth in those days" (Gen. 6:4).

* * *

I have purposely written this account on the celebration of the one hundreth year since the Neffels returned to Earth. I want to invite all randonneuring cyclists to participate in the Gragg1200 in September. There is a limit of 10,000 human riders and 10,000 Neffel riders. The spaceship will take you, your bike and drop bags, and one guest. Food and lodging will be provided for you and your guest. There will also be ample food and sleeping facilities along the route. Trained Neffel mechanics will be at each control should you need their services. The requirements are the same as at all other sanctioned 1200 events. You need to complete your Super Series by September.

The circular route is filled with spectacular beauty. There are two challenging hills through the mountains on the first half, but a gradual winding descent for the remaining 600 kilometres. The costs per rider for the whole adventure is only $500 Canadian (or $780 US, $550 Australian as per normal exchange rates). There is no charge for your guest.

I'll make sure the roads are clear of manure.

THE END

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